Support: The Missing Link

The Centers for Disease Control's (CDC) 2010 Breastfeeding Report Card is out. There are wonderful tidbits of good news to be had - 3 out of 4 American mothers now start out breastfeeding and "more babies in the United States are now born at Baby-Friendly™ facilities than ever before." But - and there are more than a few "buts" here - breastfeeding rates by 6 to 12 months are low and stagnant and even though more births are at Baby-Friendly™ facilities, these still account for less than 4% of all births.

And here is one of the most important keys:

"High breastfeeding initiation rates show that most mothers in the United States want to breastfeed and are trying to do so. However, even from the very start, mothers may not be getting the breastfeeding support they need. "

Mothers need support. Real life, personal, interactive, connective support. Parenting is intense. Breastfeeding isn't always easy. And nothing you read or hear is as critical to breastfeeding as being surrounded by support. Having a spouse or partner who is a champion of breastfeeding is essential and amazing, but if there is no community, if there are no other mothers who can share your breastfeeding bootcamp stories with, if there aren't others who can show you, help you, and "get" you and your challenges, it doesn't stick.

Support comes in many forms and from many different outlets. And breastfeeding has more than a few champions. They are out there, but not necessarily where new moms are looking or where they can be found. From local networks to national organizations, the resources are plentiful but disconnected.

The Holistic Moms Network is, at our core, all about support. Whatever choices a mother makes and whatever her parenting journey, we believe moms need and deserve support along the way. Being a Holistic Mom is not about being perfect and is not without its challenges, but it is about making natural, healthy, and sustainable choices for yourself and for your family. Having a supportive community around you is the key to empowering mothers to make these choices and that is how and why the Holistic Moms Network was formed.

We agree with the CDC that many mothers want to breastfeed their babes but lack the support to continue through the challenges or uncertainties. We want to connect mothers with the resources that are out there and that can help them achieve their breastfeeding goals. That is why we are organizing what we hope will be the World's Biggest Breastfeeding Twitter Party on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011, 10 pm Eastern. We are inviting moms, breastfeeding supporters, organizations, companies, and everyone who advocates breastfeeding to join us and highlight all the offerings of the breastfeeding community.

We hope this opportunity will highlight the value of support and connect mothers with the resources they need. To join us, visit our Facebook page at:

http://www.facebook.com/BigBFParty


You may be asking yourself: How do I attend a Twitter party?

Well, you’ve come to the right place for answers!

What is a Twitter Party?

A Twitter party is a gathering of individuals on Twitter who follow a single conversation or subject using something called a hashtag.

Where do I start?

Begin by setting up an account at Twitter. Once you’re up and running, you’re ready to join in the fun!

How to Attend a Twitter Party

Refreshing your home page at Twitter.com just won’t cut it… Twitter parties go fast — and can be hard to follow when there are many people chatting all at once! We recommend using TweetChat for party participation – we think it is the most useful and user friendly application we’ve found so far. When you get to TweetChat, you add the hashtag for the party you’ll be attending (#BigBFParty) at the top and then follow the prompts to connect to your Twitter user name.

The benefit of TweetChat is that you can keep an eye on every post with the #BigBFParty hashtag and scroll up and down to go back to see what you may have missed (when it scrolls fast!) and when you post through TweetChat, it puts the #BigBFParty hashtag in for you so you can type your tweet and it’ll remember to add #BigBFParty for you! As you type your tweet, there is a gray box telling you how many characters you’ve used. If your tweet gets too long… the box will turn red — alerting you that you’ll need to shorten it before sending.

What is a hashtag?

A hashtag is the # sign. The hashtag for this party is #BigBFParty. Whenever you tweet during the World's Biggest Breastfeeding Twitter Party to ask a question, make a comment, or participate in a prize giveaway, simply add #BigBFParty at the beginning or end of your tweet. Remember, if you’re using TweetChat it adds the hashtag for you!

Why do we use hashtags?

Hashtags allow Twitter and other applications to sort and bring together all tweets that are intended to be shared within the framework of the party or theme. A hashtag can be used any time, not just during a Twitter party, so your tweet will be seen by people who are searching for that phrase.

How do I win Twitter party prizes?

Because this will be such a huge party, we’re doing things a little different. If you want to win a prize, share information about support organizations or receive information about anything we talk about during the party, we’ll have a special link for you. Go and fill in the blanks, and give us a little info so we can send your prize or any info you request. We will not email you except by specific instruction from you.

Remember: You only have 140 characters to use! Keep it short and sweet.

Community is Vital to Breastfeeding. Period.

Although breastfeeding is absolutely natural and “normal”, I have yet to meet a mother who has had a completely uneventful, challenge-free breastfeeding experience – at least the first time around. Many successfully persist through the challenges, others find them too hard to surmount. And, some don't even try because the obstacles are too great.

What is consistent in all the stories I hear is the one thing that can make or break a breastfeeding relationship. It's not a product of any kind. It’s support. Finding your tribe. Getting an encouraging word. Receiving information from someone who cares. Sometimes it’s a hug, a casserole, or just empathy. That's what really matters – and what makes all the difference.

The potential for support is huge. There are non-profit organizations, support groups, consultants, authors, websites, and entire companies whose mission and purpose is dedicated to breastfeeding success. Of course, they each have their own passions, their own visions of what is “right” or “correct”, and they each serve mothers in their own unique ways. And, they don’t all necessarily all agree – or get along. But the potential to find support, to connect, and to gather resources to make your breastfeeding experience more successful for you and your baby is enormous.

To a new mother who is feeling alone and isolated, the breadth and depth of these resources isn’t always so evident. That's why, in celebration of World Breastfeeding Week, the Holistic Moms Network is inviting everyone who supports breastfeeding to come together to highlight these resources. We want to showcase all the enthusiasm, passion, and resources available for moms – and dads. Support is the foundation for who we are as an organization. It is our mission to connect moms who need support on whatever issue they are facing as a parent, and especially to help them discover natural and holistic options. We believe that community is vital to breastfeeding success, whether your tribe is large or small, and whatever your breastfeeding goal.

Our goal is to host the World's Largest Breastfeeding Twitter Party during World Breastfeeding Week. Our event is planned for Tuesday, August 2nd, at 10 pm EST at hashtag #BigBFParty or #holisticmoms. Together with our co-hosts Motherlove Herbal Company, The Leaky Boob, Mama Pear Designs, Bamboobies, The Willow Store, Best for Babes, and other breastfeeding support organizations and companies, we invite everyone in the breastfeeding community (past and present) to join us in showing how much support is available.

Join the Facebook page to find out more information and ask questions:
http://www.facebook.com/BigBFParty

Celebrating Community: 10,000 Strong on Facebook

Social networking has transformed our culture. Everyone, it seems, is buzzing on Facebook, chatting on Twitter, and linking in on any number of other websites, forums, and social networking sites.

At the Holistic Moms Network, we are thrilled to have attained a new level of interaction with more than 10,000 fans now connecting through our Facebook page. We are excited and honored to have so many people interacting through our page and finding a virtual community for holistic-minded parents.

At our core the Holistic Moms Network is about community building. We use virtual tools and see great value in them, but also think that there is a cultural shift that is pulling us further apart in real life. Social networking sites are great for reconnecting with people from our past and for staying in touch with those far away, as many have suggested, but paradoxically it can turn our friendships into screentime and pull us away from valuable face-to-face, in real life connections.

Additional challenges of virtual communities are permanency and trust. Virtual communities are transient and often short-lived. People come and go and communities themselves can easily dissolve. It is also difficult to grasp the true nature of a person, community, or organization simply by exploring their online presence. Innately we can often sense whether a person is trustworthy or not in a personal meeting, whether we align with them or our energies clash, simply by sensing their cues (consciously and unconsciously). It is easy for people (and companies) to misrepresent themselves online but not so much face-to-face. And a friend can say "I'm just fine" on Facebook, although the look their eyes or their facial expression can tell another story.

For parents, real life connections are invaluable. For many moms the journey to motherhood is disorienting and alienating. Going from a professional job outside the home to being an at-home parent changes everything, including your social interactions. The people you chat with at the coffee shop on the way to work, co-workers and others are suddenly operating in a different world. Finding a new social network - and one that embraces children - is essential on so many levels. For moms and dads who choose natural parenting, this can be a difficult task. Finding others who understand your choices and being able to see another parent breastfeeding, babywearing, buying organic foods, or seeking out non-toxic household products gives you a wealth of information and a sense of empowerment that you cannot always achieve by virtual connection.

Of course, virtual connections means you can expand your social circle and can raise awareness and build support for great causes in numbers that you could not do in real life. For this reason, social networking is a fabulous tool for building communities like the Holistic Moms Network, both locally and nationally. But we see it as just one component of a growing community - one that you can be part of locally, in real life, and grow with on many levels.

So to honor our new milestone of 10,000 Facebook fans, we want to offer everyone an opportunity to join the Holistic Moms Network community and reach out in real life to other parents and caregivers, locally, face-to-face, and virtually. In honor of this opportunity, we're offering a huge discount off our annual membership fee (nearly 25% off!) for ONE DAY ONLY on Tuesday, July 12th, 2011. From 12:01 am to 11:59 pm EST tomorrow, July 12th, you can join HMN (or renew your membership) for just $35 per year and connect with parents in your area, in real life and online, and find vital support for your parenting journey. Just use Coupon Code HMNFB10 to join or renew.

PLUS: One new or renewing member who signs up tomorrow (Tuesday, July 12th) will randomly be chosen to win a set of HMN's two cookbooks (one each) and one of our Holistic Moms Network organic cotton aprons to inspire your inner chef!

We want to thank all of our Facebook fans and supporters for helping us grow! As a 501(c)(3) non-profit community, every supporter, every voice, and every member matters!

Sorry, Tom, But I'm Not Happy

It's summertime. That means hot, outdoors, and sweaty. And it means deodorant if we'd like our summer to be social. So, out on the road I needed some deodorant and found myself in a mainstream pharmacy looking for something "natural". My best option? Tom's of Maine. In a rush, with two impatient children awaiting our trip I grabbed it and ran. How bad could it be?

Then my armpits turned bright pink and started to peel. Yes, peel. No sunburn there so I decided it was time to look at the ingredients in the deodorant I picked up. The very first ingredient: propylene glycol. Hmmm. That could be it.

So what do we know about propylene glycol? Propylene glycol PG) is a chemical that is commonly used in coolants and de-icing solutions for cars, airplanes, and boats. According to the Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS), "Hazardous in case of ingestion. Slightly hazardous in case of skin contact (irritant, permeator), of eye contact (irritant), of inhalation." Funny, in my world deodorant is actually applied to the skin. What to do in case of accidental skin contact? According to the MSDS "Skin Contact: In case of contact, immediately flush skin with plenty of water. Cover the irritated skin with an emollient. Remove contaminated clothing and shoes. Cold water may be used.Wash clothing before reuse. Thoroughly clean shoes before reuse. Get medical attention." While propylene glycol is generally recognized as safe (GRAS) by government officials, high levels of exposure have been linked to seizures and cardiac arrythmia in infants. Breathing propylene glycol ethers in paint have also correlated with higher rates of asthma and eczema among children.

So perhaps my Tom's of Maine Deodorant needs to come with a warning label? I guess that couldn't fit on the product. Instead what I found was some great marketing. Their label asks "What makes a product good?" In their book, no animal testing, no artificial colors, and sustainable practices are among the great reasons why their products are "good". Although PG is considered to be relatively non-toxic in the environment, the USDA's own studies show that PG vapors may be toxic to corn and soybean plants. And while the risk levels are touted as safe by the chemical industry and government, many of the environmental watchdogs have chimed in on the dangers of PG and possible alternatives.

I applaud Tom's of Maine for their efforts and their cited commitment to "natural" (albeit an unregulated term) products, sustainability, and their support of environmental causes and of their employees' volunteer efforts. But let's raise the bar a bit here and make products that shouldn't need a warning table and truly reflect a commitment to safety and eco-conscious living.

Iron and Fatigue

Fatigue and motherhood go together like cookies and milk. Whether you have a newborn or a teen, it seems keeping up with our kids and sleepless nights are common fodder for mom-to-mom conversations. But fatigue can come from a wide variety of sources and one that we often overlook is iron deficiency. Just this week the Holistic Moms Network hosted a Twitter Party with one of our new Sponsors, Floradix, and the information shared bears repeating.

An estimated 26% of women or 7.8 million women between the ages of 15 and 45 are iron deficient. The symptoms sound familiar to mamas: "fatigue, decreased ability to concentrate, decreased endurance during exercise, increased frequency of infection, paleness, dark circles under the eyes, brittle hair and nails, and cold hands and feet." The demands of pregnancy and nursing exacerbate iron deficiency for many parents. According to Dr. Cathy Carlson-Rink, a licensed naturopathic physician and registered midwife, “Many women enter pregnancy with low iron stores and, in fact, it is estimated that only one in five women enter a pregnancy with adequate iron levels. And since it can take up to six months to replenish low iron stores, I recommend regular low dose iron supplementation in the childbearing years to ensure that iron levels are adequate around the time a pregnancy is planned.”

Even long before starting a family, many young women suffer from iron deficiency. Adolescents are at risk for iron deficiency due to rapid growth rates, the onset of menses, and other factors including the certain birth control options. According to a 2001 study, three-quarters of adolescent girls do not reach daily dietary requirements for iron. Building iron stores early can help alleviate some of the common symptoms of iron deficiency and may help with learning and the ability to concentrate.

Dietary iron sources include meat, fish and poultry, lentils, dried beans, grain products, vegetables, dried fruit, and molasses. Unfortunately, a number of foods can also interfere with the absorption of iron in the body, including dairy products, some cereals, and a motherhood staple - coffee. Flora also manufactures as popular natural liquid iron supplement, Floradix, that has been shown to rapidly increase ferritin levels within a short period of supplementation. For young women suffering from fatigue, a simple blood test that includes ferritin levels can be a valuable tool to identifying iron deficiency.

Making the Connection: Food and Behavior

As a population, we have a glaring blind spot when it comes to food. We don't want to know what's in it, where it comes from, or how it affects us. We just want to enjoy it. Or we want convenience.

Yes, the real food movement is growing. But in places where you might expect the greatest change, the progress is slower than molasses. It has always been baffling to me why schools are not the first ones to embrace positive dietary changes. I have not personally taught young children, only college, but I have heard many teachers lament the post-lunch hyperactivity or drag of their classes. At what point do we start to open our eyes and understand that what we eat affects not only our health but how we behave? And that the foods our children eat impact how well they can learn and how their actions are judged by their teachers and peers?

Although I am an avid fan of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, every episode shocks me. It's less startling to me to learn what's in our food and our schools, and more shocking to see the lack of interest from the school systems and administrators - and sometimes even the parents. My younger son's end of the year school picnic was last week and parents joined our little ones for some fun in park. Kids brought their own lunches from home and there we were at snack time with green Jell-o, goldfish crackers, and gummies. All packed from home. And to add fuel to the fire, this was a special needs program. While the children have many diagnoses, they are developmentally delayed, on the autism spectrum, and many have ADHD. Research has shown, time and again, the links between diet and learning, behavior or health impacts for sensitive people.

The Feingold Association, founded 35 years ago, is "dedicated to helping children and adults apply proven dietary techniques for better behavior, learning and health, and to generating public awareness of the potential role of foods and synthetic additives in behavior, learning and health problems." Their success has been remarkable on many levels, simply by teaching parents how to avoid food additives that may contribute to their child's ADHD, hyperactivity, learning disabilities, asthma, and more. Taking it a step further, Time Magazine published a story in 2010 showing that even minimal exposure to pesticides in foods can increase the odds of developing ADHD. While the study is not indicative of causation, there is good reason for additional research on organophosphates, which "are known to cause damage to the nerve connections in the brain — that's how they kill agricultural pests, after all. The chemical works by disrupting a specific neurotransmitter, acetylcholinesterase, a defect that has been implicated in children diagnosed with ADHD."

But we don't want to know. Our kids "only like" X, Y, and Z. Or we trust in the powers that be who are charged with making sure our food supply is safe. Dietary changes aren't always easy. But neither is hyperactivity or ADHD. Real food makes a real difference. We need to begin with the recognition of a connection and an acknowledgement of the challenge before us. But until we take that first step and break through our blind spots, we continue to create even more difficulties for ourselves and our families.

We are also honored to have Trudy Scott as a Workshop Speaker at our 2011 Natural Living Conference, a food and mood expert focusing on women's health. We hope you can join us!

Starting Fresh - and Delicious!

Banana, pineapple, and avocado pudding. Roasted golden beets with quinoa and feta. Ginger chicken with coconut. This is definitely not your mother's baby food. But what else would you expect from chef, Food Network star, cookbook author, and Sprout Organic Baby Food co-founder Tyler Florence?

Dad Tyler has just released his new cookbook, Start Fresh: Your Child's Jump Start to Lifelong Healthy Eating. His commitment to real, healthy food for kids (his and yours) is evident through Sprout Organic Baby Food, a Sponsor of the Holistic Moms Network, whose gourmet flavors and upcycled packaging are just what green and healthy moms are looking for when you don't have time to make your own. But when you do, this fabulous new cookbook is just the ticket to a delicious and healthy food experience.

"As parents, we are bombarded by marketing intent on convincing us that we don't know how to feed our children," writes Tyler Florence in his new book. "Food producers would have us believe that the Big 5 (pizza, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, french fries, and burgers) are the only things kids will eat, and that chicken nuggets pressed itno the shape of a dinosaur are a healthy part of a meal. It's insulting." Amen! Real kids will eat real food and treating them to some of these delicious creations is a great way to get the ball rolling.

But Start Fresh is not just about tasty baby food. Recipes in the Toddler section include great family meals such as Roast Turkey with Sweet Potato, Brown Rice, and Cranberries and Maple Roasted Pork Chops with Butternut Squash and Beets that will satify mom or dad, while also making delicious purees or chopped meals for the kids. Stage 4 brings Everyone to the Table with Butternut Squash Macaroni and Cheese, Stuffed Sweet Potatoes, and an original, fun savory cupcake dish of Barbeque Turkey Meatloaf Cupcakes with Mashed Potato Frosting.

Navigating the road to starting solids can be confusing. This great book will give you some inspiration. Holistic Moms can help give you support! Connect with your Local Chapter and share your story with other holistic moms and dads - discover what worked, how to keep your milk supply up, or how to deal with food allergies.

This is a cookbook you won't want to miss and Holistic Moms is giving away THREE autographed copies to some lucky winners! You can be entered into our random drawing by posting a comment on this blog. Tell us what was your child's/children's first food and his/her/their favorite food(s) now. Leave your comment and we'll pick three winners on June 15th!

GMOs in Our Bodies

Seems I've been talking about food quite a bit lately. It's really not that unusual for me, a self-confessed "foodie". But I have not been talking about food in a good way. From high fructose corn syrup in a guest blog to the toxicity of sugar and antibiotics in meats discussed here, it seems there is much to talk about that isn't so easy to swallow (bad pun intended).

And so it continues. A new study conducted by researchers at the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, University of Sherbrooke Hospital Centre in Quebec reveals that insecticides built into genetically-modified foods (GMOs) are showing up in the bloodstreams of women, both pregnant and not pregnant, with some dire implications. As reported by HMN Sponsor E Magazine, "the study published last month in the peer-reviewed journal Reproductive Toxicology looked at the blood of 30 pregnant and 39 non-pregnant women and found that the toxins did indeed persist in their bloodstreams—and in the bloodstreams of their fetuses."

As we know from last month's HealthE Mama News, "according to the USDA, in 2009, 93% of soy, 93% of cotton, and 86% of corn grown in the U.S. were GMO. It is estimated that over 90% of canola grown is GMO . . . it is estimated that GMOs are now present in more than 80% of packaged products in the average U.S. or Canadian grocery store." With GMOs so pervasive, it's even more disconcerting to discover the longevity the insecticides associated with these crops have. As the first study to show "that pesticides associated with genetically modified foods continue to circulate in women’s bloodstreams," we have no answers as to what impact these chemicals have on women or their children. But we can guess it won't be good.

Taking a long-term perspective with regard to our health can be a challenge. It's hard to resist today's treat for tomorrow's health. But when our children are involved, we often find the inspiration to begin the process. With so much uncertainty about the effects of GMOs on health, even a conservative, precautionary approach seems warranted. Learn more about GMOs and seek out labels such as Non-GMO Project verified when looking for healthier, safer options - for yourself and for the future.

Sugar: White Poison

“It’s not about the calories,” says Robert Lustig, specialist on pediatric hormone disorders and the leading expert in childhood obesity at the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine. “It has nothing to do with the calories. It’s a poison by itself.” To what is he referring? Sugar. Yup, sugar.

Extreme? Maybe. But worth paying attention to. According to the recent New York Times article, per Lustig "sugar should be thought of, like cigarettes and alcohol, as something that’s killing us." Lustig is referring to both sugar and high-fructose corn syrup in his assessment, the latter of which is the latest villain in the food industry world. High fructose corn syrup is pervasive in the American diet and has been linked to metabolic syndrome, obesity, high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, and diabetes. Concerns over the dangers of HFCS have driven many of us back to "plain old sugar" as we seek out a simpler alternative. Not so fast says Lustig, "High-fructose corn syrup, sugar — no difference. The point is they’re each bad — equally bad, equally poisonous.”

According to Lustig, the high consumption of sugar or HFCS, especially in liquid form (sodas or fruit juices) taxes the liver which turns the excess easily into fat and, over the long term, leads the body to develop insulin resistance "which is now considered the fundamental problem in obesity, and the underlying defect in heart disease and in the type of diabetes, type 2." As the consumption of sugar has increased in the United States, so has the rate of disease. "In 1980, roughly one in seven Americans was obese, and almost six million were diabetic, and the obesity rates, at least, hadn’t changed significantly in the 20 years previously. By the early 2000s, when sugar consumption peaked, one in every three Americans was obese, and 14 million were diabetic."

And the trouble doesn't end there. According to Nancy Appleton, author of the book Lick the Sugar Habit, sugar can depress the immune system, raise your cholesterol, feed cancer cells, weaken eyesight, cause gallstones, and contribute to osteoporosis, among others.

So what to do? Clearly, reducing our intake of sugar and high fructose corn syrup is a top priority. But giving up our sweet tooth sounds insurmountable (at least over here!). Explore alternative and natural sweeteners such as organic honey, stevia, and maple syrup when the sweet craving comes. But watch out for artificial sweeteners and other concoctions and, most of all, do your research!

Listen to the Moms

As a mom it’s easy to feel invisible. We often go from having a personal identity to being so-and-so’s mom – the one who magically picks up the house, changes the diapers, makes sure the kids are fed, healthy, and consistently transported from school, playdates, or sports activities without a hitch - with little fanfare.

But moms make hugely important decisions about the health and well-being of their entire families – and the planet - each and every day. The food we buy, the products we bring into our home, how we transport our families, and the values we live by all have an impact on our children’s health and on the larger environment. When moms start demanding safer, less toxic, and more natural products, it’s powerful. So powerful that the market is listening – sort of.

Take, for example, the recent study by the Pew Charitable Trusts about moms and their concern over antibiotic use in animals. According to the study, 80 percent of the moms surveyed were "concerned about antibiotics being given to food animals on farms", with more than 40% being very concerned. Fears about antibiotic-resistant disease and concerns over the humane treatment of animals is growing, and not just among moms. More and more individuals are starting their own food revolutions (thanks, in part, to Jamie Oliver) and are demanding to know what is in their products and where their food comes from.

As moms take action, we are insisting that our supermarkets offer greater transparency, better labeling, and a wider range of options that address our growing concerns. More moms are reading labels and making purchasing decisions that align with their values. USDA Certified Organic meat is not raised with antibiotics, but meat that is labeled "natural" or "all-natural" may or may not include antibiotic use, according to the Union of Concerned Scientists. "No antibiotics added" and "Raised without antibiotics" are approved by the USDA as a claim, but are not third-party certified as the USDA Certified Organic label is. Free-range/free roaming appeals to moms concerned about the humane treatment of animals but suggests nothing about antibiotic use.

While companies are getting on the bandwagon to be responsive to the concerns of parents, the lack of regulation and consistency is something to be concerned about. The 2008 Tyson incident is good example. During 2007/2008 Tyson was using the label "raised without antibiotics" on its chicken and in its marketing to capitalize on food that was perceived to be "better for your family." Problem was that Tyson was still using "the chicken feed additive ionophores", according to the Washington Post, which the USDA considers antibiotics but the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) does not. The USDA rescinded Tyson's use of the label, but the opportunities for companies to continue to mislead consumers remains.

Moms can drive change in the market by raising not only their level of awareness about industry practices, but by seeking out positive change through their purchasing decisions. Supporting companies that mesh with your personal values with regard to product ingredients and safety is an important way to be sure your voice is heard!

Celebrating Motherhood!

No matter where your journey takes you, the path of parenthood is packed with choices and challenges, as well as incredible joy and happiness. Whether or not you have chosen to breastfeed, cloth diaper or use disposables, bed share or not, homeschool or public school - or anything in between - you need the support and encouragement of other parents along the way.

At the Holistic Moms Network, our mission and purpose is to support parents and to raise awareness about natural and holistic living. We seek to create a sisterhood community (including dads!) that makes the journey of parenting one of empowerment and connection. We want parents to learn about the many natural and holistic choices out there so that they can make informed choices for themselves and their families. But we do not believe that attacking each other for our choices, pointing fingers, or making individuals feel guilty for their decisions creates a community. Rather, it pits us against one another. And, as a holistic parent, there are 1,000 ways we can take opposing sides. That doesn't leave much room for community building.

What we may have as our personal passion may not be the same as another's. What works for one family may not work for another. And alienating people who have made choices that differ from our own also hinders our ability to expand and grow ourselves, eliminating the possibility of discovering a new perspective along the way, cultivating empathy, or honing our own existing beliefs. As Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton so artfully said "The only way to make sure people you agree with can speak is to support the rights of people you don't agree with."

There are many things we support as holistic parents - including living sustainably, birthing and feeding our babes naturally, avoiding unnecessary routine medical interventions, and promoting positive parenting - but we do not ask parents to pass a litmus test before they join our organization. Many of us at HMN have made radical changes in our lives over the years that we have been members - changes we may never have imagined ourselves making at one time. What made the difference? Awareness and support. Members find this experience again and again:

“HMN has brought insight, information and courage in my life. Several of this year’s chapter meetings were truly life-changing, introducing me to new perspectives and ways of thinking. Like how easy eco-friendly cleaning can be, positive discipline, the importance of play. I am very grateful for the sharing and encouragement in this community. I’m so glad to have found HMN!” Mariana, MA Member

“It is amazing to be among moms/families that stand up for their children, against mainstream living, in order to stay true to themselves and make sure their children will be healthier and wiser then this generation and thus make the world a better place. This is done through education, community and an open-mindedness that is quite refreshing and truly amazing to be a part of.” Dorothy, IL Member

We agree with Mothering Magazine Publisher and HMN Advisory Board Member Peggy O'Mara ,who once said "Successful advocacy rests on holding a position without being positional. And while we don't always feel we can compromise where our children's needs are concerned, we can develop a capacity to insist on our position without insulting others."

This month we celebrate motherhood and its journey - whatever path it takes, whatever decisions have been made - and offer the opportunity for all parents to connect through a supportive, diverse, and compassionate community by offering a special membership savings for the entire month of May! Use the special coupon code MOM2011 and enjoy $5 off of any annual membership this month.

And we encourage our existing members to approach one another with kindess and understanding, not judgement. Open up to the possibility of learning from each other, as well as allowing for respectful disagreement.

Let's celebrate the motherhood experience together! Join us!

Vitamin D

Vitamin D has been all the buzz in natural health circles for some time. According to recent news reports, Vitamin D deficiencies are hugely prevalent among American adults and children, and are associated with everything from type 2 diabetes and rickets to osteoporosis and lung disease. Of grave concern is how widespread deficiencies may be in our population. A groundbreaking study published last year found that as many as 59 percent of the population may be deficient in Vitamin D. So, let's look at few basic questions to sort out the information.

What is Vitamin D? Vitamin D is not technically a vitamin but rather a secosteriod hormone that helps build strong bones and teeth, and is essential for maintaining hormonal balance and a healthy immune system. It helps to regulate calcium metabolism and is synthesized when UVB rays from the sun are absorbed through the skin.

Why is it such a problem in modern society? Scientists are wary about pointing the finger at the cause of Vitamin D deficiency, but many agree that consistent use of 15 SPF or higher sunscreen, which blocks out the skin's Vitamin D production by 99 percent, may be to blame. Diet provides only a small clue, as there are few foods that we consume that are naturally rich in Vitamin D, including sardines, salmon, shrimp, cod, and eggs.

In addition to sunscreen use our indoor lifestyle, particularly for those in less sunny climes, may also be a significant factor. For those living in the northern US, the "region above latitude 40 (a horizontal line that runs from just below New York City west to northern California), then the sun is only strong enough between May and September to trigger the vitamin D conversion (or the converse in the Southern Hemisphere). This means that a large percentage of the population is at significant risk much of the year for vitamin D deficiency."

How do you know if you are Vitamin D deficient? The only way to know, according to the VitaminD Council, is to "get a 25-hydroxyvitamin D test, also called a 25(OH)D. Levels should be above 50 ng/ml (125 nmol/L) year-round, in both children and adults." These levels are important from infancy through the lifespan and may vary and menopause are advised to increase Vitamin D intake to prevent bone loss.

How do we get enough Vitamin D? While some dairy products and even juices are fortified with Vitamin D, the current recommended levels of consumption are way above what you could ingest daily of these beverages. Even Vitamin D rich foods may not provide enough for the new higher recommendations for daily intake. New guidelines suggest anywhere from 600IU daily for adults to as much as 2,oooIU or more, through supplementation. In addition, it is recommended that we spend at least 15 minutes in the early morning or late afternoon sun each day, twice a day, without sunscreen to help Vitamin D production in the body (longer for darker skin tones).

What about Vitamin D and breastfeeding? Not all babies are at risk for Vitamin D deficiency, especially if they are exposed to natural sunlight and if the nursing mom has adequate Vitamin D levels. For a great discussion of this important topic, visit Kellymom.com.

As the research continues to mount, adding a quality Vitamin D supplement to our diets seems wise if we do indeed have an insufficient amount. Eating a diet of whole foods and getting outdoors in early or late day sunshine are also great choices for wellness!

Eco-Overwhelm

Ignorance is bliss, as they say, and there are times as a holistic mom that ignorance is downright appealing. The information overload about toxic, unhealthy, chemical-laden, unsustainable, unethically-produced products can freeze anyone in their tracks, paralyzed by an overwhelming fear of making the “wrong” choice. Despite our best intentions and efforts, just when we’ve eliminated a basic staple in our food pantries or substance in our household, we are advised that our new choice is also plagued with danger. The journey to living a healthier, greener life can indeed seem daunting.

Just this week I started to question some of my own choices. First came an article from Reader's Digest about organic eggs. Looking beyond the labels and the minimal USDA requirements for organic egg production, the article highlights a study by the Cornucopia Institute revealing the truth behind farm practices and why just buying food with an organic seal isn't always good enough. Fortunately, the Institute's Organic Egg Scorecard can help busy parents sort through their organic options and locate products that meet their needs and desires for humanely-raised, healthy, and nutritious eggs. While organic labeling is a cornerstone for many consumers, this study may help you make even better choices beyond simply looking for the organic seal. Similarly, the Cornucopia Institute also rates organic dairy and reveals factory farming behind the labels, sometimes in places where you least expect it. In both cases, there are some fabulous options for parents looking for highly-rated products including those from HMN Sponsors Organic Valley and Pure Indian Foods!

Then came the BPA-free warnings. While we applaud the broad scale movement to reduce BPA exposure and remove products from store shelves due to health concerns, we learn from The Atlantic that buying BPA-free products might not give us the level of safety we are looking for. As with USDA regulations on foodstuffs, the oversight of the Environmental Protection Agency and the Food and Drug Administration leaves much to be desired. The authors point out that "because the U.S. system of regulating chemicals relies primarily on information supplied by a material's manufacturer, we know relatively little about these new plastics." And, consequently, relatively little about their safety and whether or not they are just as toxic as Bisphenol A. So while plastics have some advantages by way of convenience, a return to more trusted resources such as stainless steel and glass may well be in order.

The wealth of natural, non-toxic products and food options today are a boon to holistic-minded parents, to be sure. But being informed of the truth behind the labels, practices, and ratings is what empowers us to be make the choices that match our personal values. Both of these articles came to my attention through fellow Holistic Moms members. We can't always be on top of every issue, but by being connected to a passionate community who shares similar lifestyle choices, we can stay in communication with concerns and information, as well as to find the support we need when it all seems too hard and too overwhelming. And as we're ready to take that step to make changes in our health and wellness, we know our fellow HMN sisters can share their knowledge and experiences and enrich our journey!

Life Lessons

"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity," Louis Pasteur once said. Indeed, it is tenacity, persistence, and commitment that seem to be the theme of this past weekend. And it’s one of those life lessons that hits you over the head when you least expect it. Funny how that happens sometimes. I am continually amazed (and occasionally annoyed) by the ways in which life gives us lessons. Often, in the moment, the lesson is hidden. The task or event before us swallows us up, distracts us, and pulls away from seeing the big picture. And sometimes the method of the lesson just makes you stand back and say "What the . . . ??"

And so it was with my most recent lesson. This past weekend HMN's Director of Chapter Mentoring, Nina DeSanto, and I headed off for our first Holistic Moms Regional Leaders Training. It was a long-awaited opportunity to meet with Holistic Moms Leaders across the Midwest Region, offer some guidance and inspiration, and enrich our HMN community. Off we went to Newark Airport to promptly discover our flight to Chicago was delayed for 2 hours. We calmly wandered off to the coffee shop reconciled to arriving late to our destination. And as we sipped coffee and chatted about our planned workshop, a voice over the loudspeaker announced that our flight had been canceled. The first inkling of panic and worry reared it's head. So we headed off to be pushed onto the next flight, also now delayed. And then canceled. And again. And again. And so it went as our nerves started to fray and stress levels began to rise. Flight after flight, each subsequently posting hours of delay, then being cancelled altogether. We pondered our options and circumstances.

We had to be in Chicago. Our meeting started at 9 am the following morning, and after 6 hours at the airport, we were nearing disaster. The annoyed Continental clerk suggested we wait for the one last possible flight out and keep our fingers crossed. We couldn't chance it. We found ourselves instead jumping into the last two seats on a flight to Milwaukee, quickly dialing up car rental services as we shuttled to the gate and preparing to drive to our final destination. But the challenges had only just begun. Arriving in Milwaukee, we soon discovered that our luggage was left behind in Newark despite a multitude of assurances that our bags had be rerouted to our flight. No materials for our workshop, save a few. No clothes. No toothpaste. Nothing but what we had on us and a presentation awaiting us. And as it was nearing midnight on the ground, with a two hour drive looming on the horizon, we had to summon up our persistence. We soon found ourselves in a rental car at a 24 hour Walmart, of all things, pulling items from the shelves in a desperate race to gather up our basics and some clothing to get through our morning seminar. We detoured to a nearby Wendy's for much-needed coffee discover they were just closing their doors. A kind employee managed to scrounge up a couple of coffees and waved us off as we jumped on the highway for our trek.

And we sat back and said - really?!? What is the meaning of this? Here we were, headed off to inspire and train our local Chapter Leaders and all we have before us are obstacles and challenges. We wanted to turn back, give up, surrender. We wanted to say "enough" and decide it wasn't worth it. We pondered how there could be a lesson in all this chaos. And we wondered what we would tell our Leaders. Leaders. Leadership. And then it hit us. What is leadership, after all? Leadership is staying the course. Leadership is persisting in the face of obstacles and finding your way through. Leadership is overcoming and discovering the path to success. Leadership is accepting humility but not defeat. Leadership is making it work. "If you're going through hell, keep going" said Winston Churchill. Find the way through to succeed, to grow. Life is full of obstacles and challenges, but "the secret of success is constancy to purpose", advises Benjamin Disraeli.

And it all started to make sense. At least enough sense that we could begin to laugh at the events of the day as we cruised through Milwaukee and on to Chicago, overcoming the challenges before us. Yes, it was about leadership. It was about walking the walk, talking the talk. It was not only talking about leadership but demonstrating leadership. It was a message that we could embrace more fully by living it, breathing it, knowing it.

We were honored and inspired to have had that moment. Sure, we could have done without the stress and aggravation. But the lesson came through loud and clear. And we rose to the challenge. We can all rise to the challenges of our life lessons. We can look past the obstacles and find the way through. The path to success is always there, we just need to persist to discover it. Whether the challenge is small or great, going through it makes us stronger and more able. And that's the true proving ground for leadership.

Saving Natural Parenting

It’s crunch time. Our values are on the line. And it’s up to you, yes YOU, to take action. To stand up for what you believe in. To realize that YOU make a difference. To be part of a bigger picture. To save something you believe in.

Natural parenting is in crisis. The outspoken voices of holistic living and parenting are being edged out by challenging times. And it’s because of us. We take things for granted. We forget that we need to support the organizations, businesses, and people who lead the charge. The people who let passion run their lives and give of themselves to empower us and help us grow. We blame it on the economy. Times are tough. We have to make ends meet. We have to cut corners. We’re too busy. Someone else will help. What's in it for me?

And then the voices are gone. Our trusted champions are silenced. Our resources evaporate. And we are lost. And we wonder if we could have done anything. We miss our support networks, our publications, our online resource, and the things that inspire us to be holistic parents. And we think “what a shame.” But we didn’t do anything to help. We didn’t stop it. And our community starts to fracture.

Now’s the time. Many of us have had heavy hearts watching Mothering Magazine close its doors. That one simple publication was a lifeline for so many of us who choose to parent differently. We were inspired and moved by the stories. We learned about natural childbirth options, babywearing, and making our own baby food. We questioned vaccinations and circumcision. We became empowered with positive parenting and we found others who shared our views. And then it was gone.

And just today, the Natural Child Project issued an urgent email that they need help. An organization founded on a vision of “a world in which all children are treated with dignity, respect, understanding, and compassion. In such a world, every child can grow into adulthood with a generous capacity for love and trust” needs our help. The economy is making their mission hard to fulfill. They need support and donations to bring you articles, resources, and information to keep going.

And here at Holistic Moms, our shoestring budget is tightening. We watch our sisters struggle and look to you, our friends and members, to keep our community alive. You can make a difference. Your membership is what keeps us all going. Your donations, your support. Whether you enjoy the many benefits of membership or simply the confidence of knowing we are out there, it matters that you give your support. Your donations make our non-profit organization possible.

We work to serve you, to connect our voices, to build our community. Without your support, we risk being silenced as well. Can we all afford that? If we stand by with our excuses – we are too busy, times are tough, someone else will help – we will be left with only that: our excuses. Whether as individuals in need of support, who can join as members, or companies trying to serve this community, whose sponsorship makes our community possible, we can come together to protect our voices. Save natural parenting. Don’t wait. Or the silence will come.

Discovering Resources for Natural Living

Nine years ago, when my son was diagnosed with multiple food allergies, I was drowning in motherhood overwhelm. I was a first-time mama, and a holistic one at that, trying to navigate the challenging road of parenthood while also living as naturally and sustainably as I could. When we were told to go gluten, dairy, soy, and corn free, my head started spinning. How, where, when would I ever find a way to eat this way?

Radically changing your lifestyle is never easy but when faced with no choice, you find your way. And, nine years later, I’m happy to say that living with food allergies has gotten a whole lot easier thanks to the enormous growth in the natural foods industry. And, as a holistic mom, finding non-toxic products for my family and home has also become easier as the market continues to grow. It’s still easy to get overwhelmed, but there are options.

In order to explore these options a bit more, I headed out to California this month with HMN’s Social Networking Coordinator to see what the Natural Products Expo West was all about. This enormous trade show is packed with thousands of vendors for all things organic, natural, and green (to varying degrees). What is amazing to me is how many fabulous products now exist for families dealing with food allergies like mine. I could get lost in aisles and aisles of gluten-free and dairy-free options. Overwhelming still, but also exciting! Here’s a little of the excitement we found:

One of our family’s favorites, Pamela’s Products, makes handy baking mixes that are great for gluten-free birthday parties and GF cheesecakes that are a delicious treat. And if you need a way to entertain and still make gluten-free foods, check out Pamela’s website for great recipes to inspire all you gluten-free chefs! My older son is a fan of Udi’s Gluten-Free breads – perfect for sandwiches and french toast. And now, much to my surprise, there’s gluten free mac and cheese and bunny crackers (who needs goldfish?) from Annie’s! We even found organic, gluten-free nail polish from Keeki that is safe during pregnancy and for girls and teens who might be nail biters!

If you are looking for dairy-free products to swap out some of your current favorites, you are also in luck! Coconut milk was big at the Expo and two companies were real standouts in this area: So Delicious for their dairy-free creamers, egg nog, and ice cream and Coconut Bliss for their divine ice cream and new flavors (we really liked the Chocolate Walnut Brownie).

As a confessed chocoholic, I was amazed at all the organic, fair trade options we found at the expo. We made sure to visit Flora Health more than once for their amazing Bija Omega Truffles with omega oils built right in them, and Alter Eco’s Dark Quinoa Chocolate, a crispy chocolate bar that’s gluten free, organic, and fair trade!

While walking through Expo West, we also had an opportunity to meet with some of HMN’s amazing sponsors who help support our growing non-profit community. We found that Boiron has a new Medicine Finder available on their website and coming to stores near you, care of Aisle 7 who makes handy kiosks for retail locations. This will make it so much easier for busy moms to find a natural remedy for whatever condition they need and help them explore homeopathy. We also visited with Motherlove and its founder Kathryn Higgins, whose passion for natural living is inspiring! Their green salve is the perfect solution for bee stings, bug bites, and poison ivy (and HMN members can save on Motherlove purchases using our Online Member Savings Book) – a great time to get ready for outdoor fun!

We always love to see our friends at Organic Valley. Local Organic Valley farmers attend our annual Natural Living Conference each year and also come to expos such as this. Knowing the people behind the brand makes a huge difference for moms in being comfortable with the choices we make. They also had some tasty new organic coffee creamers - a delicious way to start your day!

Getting to know the people behind these companies is so valuable. You can see and hear their passion for what they do. We met the founders of Zukay Live Foods a non-dairy pro-biotic food company; the lively family behind Matt’s Munchies (with amazing all-natural, organic chocolate banana fruit leather), and the women behind People Towels, an organic reusable alternative to paper towels! Finally, we met the women of Eco-Me - natural cleaning products that you would make at home if you had time – with simple ingredients like vinegar and essential oils.

Last, but certainly not least, we were pleasantly surprised to run into HMN Advisory Board member Peggy O’Mara, Founder of Mothering Magazine while walking through the show. We were honored to have an opportunity to see Peggy and thank her for all the wonderful years of hard work on Mothering, a legacy from which Holistic Moms was born. She is an inspiration to many of us.

Although the path to living naturally isn’t always easy, more and more companies are heeding the call of moms like us! The market is growing and if we continue to use our buying power to tell manufacturers what we expect and what we need, many of these companies are happy to create it! It’s still easy to get overwhelmed and hard to make healthy changes, but it is reassuring to know that there is a growing demand for healthy products and a number of honest, passionate people building companies to fulfill these needs!

Holistic Does Not Mean Perfect

Parenthood is a minefield. There are a million choices to make and no matter which one you choose there is always a critic. And we, the parents, are the worst critics of all. Not just of ourselves, but of each other. We give sideways glances to the mom at the next table feeding her kids french fries; frown at the dad who forgot his reusable bag at the grocery store; and look on in horror as a parent loses it with their child. Because we’re perfect. We’re the green mom who never, ever forgets to recycle or reuse. We’re the attached parent who never yells at our kids. We’re the perfect holistic mom who never allows a morsel of junk food to get past our kids’ teeth. Yeah, right.

Since when was being attached, green, or holistic about being perfect? It’s not, we’re not, and I have yet to meet such a person in real life. And yet we’re building minefields and are quick to criticize, blame, and chastise anyone who does not live up to our personal ideals. Ironically, there’s nothing holistic about it. There’s nothing whole about judging one choice, one behavior, or even a circumstance based upon what you see, especially when you know nothing about the whole picture of that individual’s life. Do you know that the Dad forgetting his reusable bag has two sick kids at home and raced out to pick up some remedies, leaving his eco-consciousness aside for a minute? Could it be that the mom serving up fries has had a long, exhausting week of parenting her children and juggling her career, and this is a rare treat? Is it possible that the mom yelling at her kids is just a reflection of us, at one of our not-so-perfect moments? Yes, yes, and yes.

So if you think that you’re not holistic enough for the Holistic Moms Network, think again. And if you think that the mission and purpose of our organization is to make people wrong for their choices, to demand perfection from our members, and to expect everyone in our community to adhere to the same choices, you just don’t understand who we are.

The Holistic Moms Network was created to support parents who are on a journey to living healthier and greener. We honor and recognize that parenting – and life – is a journey. That journey can take many paths and is walked by a variety of different people, each with their own values, perspectives, and beliefs. We walk together because we share a common goal of living naturally and we support each other by respecting the journey, respecting the path, and honoring the uniqueness of each travelers’ circumstances. We do not refuse people the opportunity to take this journey because of a single – or many – choices that may not further them along. Rather, we encourage them, support them, and help shed light on the alternatives that are out there. Members do not have to pass a litmus test or fill out a lengthy questionnaire to join us. They are not excluded because they are not perfect, or because they are not trying to be. We welcome them, include them, and honor them. We are not trying to build minefields. We are illuminating the paths between them. You may still hit a minefield, but your HMN community will support you through it all. We’re not perfect. And we don’t want to be.

Shopping Consciously

I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but I believe there is a collective plot to make shoppers unconscious. To drive us mindlessly into stores and malls, enticing us through advertising and price cuts, to purchase things we don’t really need, want, or even like. We put aside our values as consumers and march like zombies into the latest discount offer drawn by the promise of a great deal. I’m an impulse buyer myself. I get sucked in by ads and deals, even though I know it’s just a sales pitch. But I am working harder each and every day to shop more consciously and to be more aware.

As an advocate for holistic living, I try to shop my values. I seek out sustainable materials and products, things that have been recycled or re-purposed, items that are non-toxic and fair trade. Figuring out how to prioritize these values isn’t always easy. Do I purchase local or organic, recycled or non-toxic, fair trade or green? These labels are not always mutually exclusive, thankfully, but sometimes we have to make choices. And what those choices are will depend upon what our individual priorities are. And what we know.

Walking into any given store, it’s not always easy to determine if your personal values are represented in the product you are purchasing or in the company behind the product. Clever labeling and marketing communications can make even toxic products appear healthy and natural to the unknowing consumer. Fortunately, there are a growing number of tools (and, dare I say, apps) to make this job a little easier! Concerned about global warming? Then bring Climate Counts along on your next shopping trip. Through their online database (or smart phone app), you can choose to purchase from companies that are starting to make changes to reduce global warming – or who are well on their way to being green. Or you might use the Good Guide’s database which rates not only the health/safety of products, but also their impact on the environment and the social score of the company behind the product – in other words, a rating of their corporate ethics, community engagement, and working conditions for employees, among other factors. Good Guide also has a super-handy smart phone app that enables you to use bar code scanners to view product ratings.

Concerned about the safety of your sunscreen or the toxicity of your shampoo? The Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep Database is packed with data for you to review. Organic Spa Magazine also offers a smart phone app (and printed guide) for skin care products that help you identify the leading products in the natural and organic market.

With so many tools and choices, there’s no reason to become a shopping zombie. The power of our purchases as consumers is very strong. Shop consciously, shop wisely, and demand better products for yourself and for your family!

Sisterhood Community

This week, we welcome guest blogger Jessica Martin-Weber, aka @theleakyboob, a Mom of 5 girls and the boob behind The Leaky Boob, real support for breastfeeding, valuing encouragement, honesty, humor and safe community for all.


The other day my three year old decided that she didn't need help going potty any more. Confident and enthusiastic, she banished me from even lurking in the hallway to be ready to help. I had been hoping for this day, actually. She's been going potty for a good long while now but always with assistance. I dreamed of the day when she would no longer urgently squeak "I go peepee!" at the last second leading to a mad dash to the toilet after I dropped whatever I was doing to prevent the swelling tide of urine sure to puddle on my floor if I didn't move post haste. So to have her tell me "I DO IT MOMMY!" was like a dream come true. Almost. After the third change of clothes I was beginning to think that maybe the mad dash approach was much better than the let's-use-every-towel-and-clean-pair-of-panties-in-the-house method currently being employed. This suggestion was not received well and my daughter insisted on going it on her own, rejecting even my offer to show her how to pull her pants down below her knees using both hands instead of just one. In no uncertain terms she made it clear that my assistance was no longer required and she felt hurt at the implication that I didn't feel she could handle the situation. Well, maybe I'm projecting a little there with that last bit.

Finally, after several pair of panties, changes of clothes and a few tears, my little girl found me in the kitchen later while making dinner and in a small little voice said "Mommy, you help me pull my pants down please?"

I have a strong, stubborn, independent streak as well. Sometimes this serves me well, others, eh, not so much. Tossing my hair over my shoulders and planting my feet, I look whatever is coming my way square in the eye and tell everyone to back off. In other words: sometimes I act like a three year old. And like a three year old trying to tackle some of these challenges screaming "I DO IT!" (What? Your 3 year old doesn't scream that?). I have on occasion failed some of the most important endeavors because I tried to go it alone. In the adult world I have done the equivalent of peeing my pants.

No man is an island. No woman either.

There are some things we are meant to do on our own, and learning how to manage going to the bathroom is definitely one of them. You may experience a regression in that area when you are the mother of small children and you find yourself with an audience during your own trips to the potty. There are, however, other struggles in life that we are not meant to do alone. Yet, if you look around so many of us are acting like 3 year olds screaming "I DO IT!" when in fact what we need to say is "can you help me please?" Today we don't like this idea though, having it together, looking effortlessly sleek is more valued than being authentic with those around us.

Several times on The Leaky Boob Facebook page I have asked the ladies there what surprised them the most about breastfeeding. The response we see the most is that breastfeeding was not as easy as they expected it would be. This normal, natural, and wonderful way to feed a baby isn't always easy at first. In fact, it can be full of challenges. So many that some women may really wonder if they can even do it. If they don't have the support of not just their partners or health care providers but also of other women, moms that have been there too with a wide variety of experiences, they really may not be able to continue breastfeeding their babies no matter how badly they wanted to. Sadly, often they don't even know where to turn to find support, are afraid of being belittled for asking, are embarrassed that they are having a tough time or simply don't even realize that they need more support.

Nobody should have to go it alone. I don't think we're meant to, we are social creatures.

In her book The Red Tent author Anita Diamant constructs a tale for her readers depicting the tight knit community of women in the Bible days of Jacob and his 2 wives, sisters Rebecca and Leah as well as their children, primarily daughter Dina. Based in part on historical and Biblical information, Anita also drew from Native American, African and other pre-modern cultures practice of a menstrual tent or hut. In this tent the characters of Diamant's novel share stories, advice, experience, humor and above all community. A sisterhood.

I put off reading that book for years. Friends had encouraged me and I resisted. It kind of creeped me out, to be honest. A book about the women that would hang out in the tent they were banished to during their periods? This did not sound like pleasure reading to me. It sounded more like a junior high school camping trip I had experienced once so, um, yeah, no thanks. After the birth of my 4th daughter and as I became a midwife student I was given the book and I finally read it. In one day.

Aside from the lack of time and my barely suppressed memories of an awkward junior high camping trip, I was also avoiding the book because of another issue I had. One I feel like I have to whisper it: I didn't like groups of women.

It wasn't that I thought women were petty, superficial and insecure, even though I did think that. It wasn't that I thought women were competitive, whiny, and desperate. I thought that too. It was more that I never, ever knew what to say and felt like I couldn't relate. For some reason relating to men was easy for me most of the time. Women, on the other hand, made me incredibly uncomfortable. I avoided women-dominated events like the plague; never attended a woman's only event, rejected girl's night-out evening and I even talked my husband into doing the mommy and me dance class (renamed, thankfully) so I could be spared potential interactions with other women. Even when pregnancy and parenting threw me some curve balls I wasn't prepared to handle, moms groups and playdates were completely out of the question. Places where I could learn from other women walking the same path, I refused. I planted my feet, tossed my hair back and screamed "I DO IT!".

I tried once, actually. As a brand new mom with a three-week-old baby I attended a meeting of all women, moms, looking for some help but was so completely intimidated to hear that I was doing everything wrong and felt out of place because I was nothing like them. Overwhelmed and feeling even more insecure, I left that experience near tears vowing never to go back. When I got home I called my sister, two years younger and not a mom herself, she listened to me cry and rant in frustration. She only told me one thing: it will be ok. Not particularly helpful and not even a little bit useful those four words helped me find my footing if for no other reason than my sister, my little sister, believed in me. How I wished she had been the big sister and had more experience. I didn't like women but I did like my sister and we couldn't walk away from each other.

In reading The Red Tent, Diamant's description of women relating in a way that was so real intrigued me. More than that though, it drew me in. As I attended births, I discovered some of that same spirit Diamant captured in her book as I supported the laboring woman and sat with the other midwives and birth attendants. I found it in the women of the family of the birthing woman as they cooked and cleaned and made coffee while waiting. I found it online forums where we discussed protocols and methods or cloth diapers and pregnancy. It was from this place that I began to understand something vital: we need each other.

Over time I've softened. It turns out I actually do like women and spending time with other women offering and receiving support empowers and energizes me. I even began spending time with women outside of attending births, women of all ages and stages of life. In many ways they are all my sisters. As I learned from them and even shared and supported some of them I began to wonder how much I had done the hard way or did not experience success in because I had tried so long to do it on my own. The struggles I had with breastfeeding, the emptiness of miscarriage, the desolation of postpartum depression, the despair of job loss and much, much more could have been so different if I had just let myself ask for help. My husband is incredibly supportive, a wonderful husband and father and my best friend, how much better would have been for our whole family if he had not had to be my only support?

Community, real community is the place where we can bleed together. It's not always easy and there may be conflict but it is real and it is powerful. Where we don't always have to be cheerful and put together. Where we can respect that each is in a different stage of whatever journey of whatever path we are on. Where we can educate, inspire, agree, and disagree, and still help someone struggling with pulling down their pants. That's where we find real support -- support that goes beyond soap boxes and stereotypes, beyond cheerleading and celebrating. Support that doesn't walk away when we do things differently. A sisterhood community.

Honoring Mothering

Ten years ago I was a first-time expectant mom. I was planning a homebirth with a midwife and doula, was de-toxing my home, buying slings, and preparing for breastfeeding. And I felt terribly, dreadfully alone.

Friends and family members alike questioned my choices. They gave me perplexed looks as I rambled on about waterbirth, co-sleeping, and organic baby food. They were quick to offer more conventional suggestions. I had the support of my husband, midwife, and doula but did not know a single other mom who embraced natural living. And then I discovered Mothering magazine.

Mothering was a beacon for navigating those early steps on my natural parenting journey. Rich with informative articles, passionate letters, and endless resources, I felt connected and supported within its pages. It is because of a shared interest in Mothering that I connected with another local mom with whom the Holistic Moms Network was conceived. We felt as though we had leaped from the pages of Mothering, and were, in real life, empowered, inspired, and energized by each other’s presence.

Today’s announcement that Mothering magazine will not continue is thus a bittersweet one. I am saddened that such a powerful publication that has influenced the lives of so many parents will no longer be published. Yet I find comfort in knowing of the many seeds that have been planted through its pages; in the knowledge that new life will grow from their web-only business, and in the certainty that holistic parenting will continue to be championed in the pages of Natural Life Magazine and through such organizations as the Holistic Moms Network. Mothering has empowered women to make informed choices, to build strength in our communities, and to find our voices. We will always be grateful for the amazing road that Mothering magazine has forged.

We hope many more parents will find their passion for natural living and come together to raise awareness, to support one another, and to continue the legacy of Mothering. We are honored to have been part of this journey and will continue to be an active voice for natural living as we move forward together!