Humane Education

As parents, we all want to raise children who are respectful, responsible, and who demonstrate integrity and commitment to the issues of our time. Perhaps as holistic-minded parents, this is even more compelling as we strive to live a conscious lifestyle that respects life and sustainability through everyday choices. This past week we hosted Zoe Weil and the Institute for Humane Education (IHE) at our weekly Twitter party at #holisticmoms and the conversation got all of us thinking about what it means to raise kind kids.

Zoe Weil, president of IHE and author of Above All, Be Kind and Most Good, Least Harm recognized that young children can be empowered to create positive change with simple tools and guidance. Her MOGO Club model helps children to build communities emphasizing personal actions that youth can embrace to cope with the overwhelming challenges facing our society and planet. We can engage our children in the same kind of community that we build through Holistic Moms by connecting them around the issues that demand action and positive change. Kids can organize to create an organic, community garden; start a local recycling program; or fundraise to help those in need in their neighborhoods.

IHE offers educators (and parents) a wonderful list of activities that "explore and connect issues of compassion, justice, and sustainability for a variety of ages." Children can discover the beauty of nature, begin to understand their ecological footprint, analyze waste streams, or develop critical thinking skills to decipher marketing strategies using IHE's free online tools. Even busy parents can incorporate humane education tools into their daily life. A special section offering exercises for "Human Education in Minutes" will get both you and your kids thinking about their purpose and the world around them.

Holistic parenting, like humane education, raises awareness about connectedness and how our choices impact others and the planet. We applaud Ms. Weil and IHE for their forward-thinking and passionate commitment to positive, humane education. We hope you will take time out to explore IHE and their many resources and share them with your kids!

Talking to Young Kids

"Because I said so."

"Good job!"

"You'd better stop that by the time I count to three."

"I can't believe you did that!"

Do you have a young child? Do these phrases sound all-too-familiar? Have you ever sat back and considered the language you use with your children and its impact? HMN Member and author of "What Not to Say: Tools for Talking with Young Children" Sarah MacLaughlin has done just that - and has written a handy, thoughtful little book that every parent should read!

Some of the expressions we use with children are obviously counter-productive, as MacLaughlin points out. But others send subtle messages to our children about their behavior, self-worth, and how to operate in the world. Messages that are not serving them well. "Good job" is so easy to say but can lead to a dependence on adult praise and, as MacLaughlin explains, "robs him of the opportunity to truly please himself, which is the foundation for gaining self-esteem and self-motivation."

Other catch phrases, drawn from our own childhood experiences or simply out of a moment of frustration, do not serve parents well either. "Because I said so" breaks the parent-child connection because it "dismisses the child's feelings" and may well lead to defiance and questioning as your child grows. "You're driving me crazy", "you scared me to death" and "I'm going to leave without you" reflect the stress and frustration of parents but also create anxiety for our children. Fortunately, MacLaughlin is full of ideas and suggestions for alternatives. Instead of warning your kids that you're at your breaking point, how about presenting a new activity, refocusing attention or suggesting that he/she finds "something calmer to do"? Rather than threatening to leave, try giving an option such as "let's hold hands and walk out together, or I can carry you."

Change is not always easy. But it starts with awareness and attention. Realizing what we are saying and how it impacts our children is a great starting point. Putting focus on our kids, understanding their unique temperament and developmental stage, as well as their environment and world view are all critical to improving communication and the narratives that we use for our children. We need to be patient not only with our kids, but with ourselves in the process. Reminding ourselves that parenting is no easy task is vital to success. As MacLaughlin writes:

"Little kids are messy and silly, frustrating and wise. Raising a child, or just spending the day with one, can be a real adventure. Bring your flexibility and patience - and don't forget a sense of humor. These qualities, and using the right words along the way, will promote understanding and a peaceful atmosphere. And you will enjoy your time with children more."

Get a copy of "What Not to Say" and see for yourself.

Because I told you so ;-).

Eco-Lunches

Sometimes it's the simple everyday things that we do that have a big impact. Take, for example, brown bagging it. Many of us opt to bring our own lunches - to work, to school - to save money and to guarantee that we have fresh, healthy options. But school and workday lunches can be big contributors to local landfills, packed with disposable wrappings, paper napkins and polluting plastics. It is estimated that the average disposable school lunch generates 67 pounds of waste per school year. That adds up to about 18,000 pounds a year for the average elementary school child.

Not only can lunch be bad for the environment, but exposure to many types of plastics can be dangerous to your health. Bisphenol-A has been implicated in increasing aggression among girls, and contributing to rising rates of heart disease, obesity, and infertility. To make matters worse, recent findings by the Environmental Law Foundation indicate juice boxes may contain significant amounts of lead, leaving parents concerned.

But parents need not despair: greening your lunch (and making it healthier and safer) is not as difficult as you think! And now, thanks to The Soft Landing's Safe Munch Program, you can find great eco- and health-conscious products to pack a green lunch and 10% of sales will be donated to the Holistic Moms Network! Here are some simple changes you can make to make lunch more sustainable, safer, healthier and supportive of holistic parenting:

Ditch plastic sandwich bags. From lined fabric wraps that sponge-wash clean to BPA-free containers that won't squish your sandwich, it's easy to find a reusable container for whatever you like to pack! Full-sized sandwich wraps and little reusable snack containers are greener options for whatever you like to tote.

Drink safe. Skip the juice boxes and invest in safe, reusable bottles to pack your favorite beverages instead!

Try cloth. Switch from bleached, disposable paper napkins to easy to wash cloth in fun patterns and designs, for you and for your kids!

Use sustainable utensils. Plastic forks and spoons are winding up in our oceans, along with other plastics. Reusable BPA-free utensils will reduce your exposure and help protect wildlife.

Check out the great alternatives at The Soft Landing and use code HMN2010 in the Group Code section when setting up your account to find a better way to brown-bag it and to support HMN's mission!

Mommy Guilt

What is it about motherhood that seemingly cultivates guilt? We feel guilty for not spending enough time with our kids, not enough quality time, too much attention to one child and not another, giving our kids unhealthy snacks, opting for a less nutritious meal for convenience, acting out our frustrations, taking some “me” time – oh, the list goes on and on. And it seems that list grows exponentially for holistic-minded moms who are passionate about making healthy and natural choices for themselves and their families. Suddenly, a trace artificial ingredient, a disposable plate or a plastic straw develops into a mountain of guilt for not being healthy enough, not green enough, not “good” enough.

It’s time moms stop beating themselves up and take a kinder, gentler approach. No matter what our passions, no matter what our goals, this natural parenting lifestyle is a journey. We are approaching each day with unique circumstances, specific knowledge and awareness, and whatever tools we have available on that day. It’s not about perfection – it’s about doing the best we can in every moment. That much-needed cup of coffee after a long night with a teething infant who is attachment parented is not something to feel guilty about. Caving in to let your child watch one PBS show so you can get a 20 minute sanity break is not the end of the world. Guilt is a destructive emotion. Guilt can make you hyper-vigilant and hyper-critical. It can immobilize you and generate a negative script in your head that denies you happiness, creates blame, and always makes you wrong. Green guilt seems to be running rampant. So rampant that it’s got a name: eco-anxiety and it’s own form of therapy: eco-therapy. But awareness is not black and white. Yesterday you may not have heard of BPA. Today you understand its dangers. Move forward, empowered by your new awareness. Don’t dwell in guilt.

And we should no more be dousing ourselves with guilt than we should be criticizing others who are trying to live their best possible life. As a holistic parent, it’s easy to get on your soapbox about everything from your non-toxic nursery and natural childbirth to living TV-free and avoiding junk food. But every person has a unique set of circumstances to manage and their choices may be optimal for them – at that moment in time. That does not mean we should be quiet. Raising awareness is essential to producing healthful change but doing so with positive intention and kindness goes further than with criticism. Help someone make a change for the better - don’t shout them down for failing to do so. Empower people and they will flourish. Shower them with guilt and they will wither.

Greenwashing Moms

Apparently Chef Boyardee and its parent company, ConAgra, think I’m not too savvy. After, all I’m a mom. And I want my kids to eat healthy, meaning I prefer to feed them whole grains and vegetables. So, as a healthy-minded mom, I will easily be persuaded by Norman Rockwell-esque ads showing illustrated children hugging wheat or broccoli, revealing how much my children will love their whole grains, a la Chef Boyardee’s Whole Grain Beefaroni.

And because I’m a mom, I clearly do not understand the nutritional value of whole grains that have been stripped and processed into a food-like product, combined with numerous unidentifiable preservatives and flavorings, and packed into a BPA-lined can, which I can quickly irradiate in my microwave and serve to my hungry children. Then, I can feel proud that I am a good mom, feeding my kids real, wholesome food. Clearly, they don’t know me. Or thousands of other healthy, holistic-minded moms who actually know a thing or two about food. Real food. Whole grains that are not processed in a factory and rendered into unidentifiable food-like substances. Moms who know that real vegetables grow from the ground. And – gasp – moms who understand toxins like BPA and the pesticides used to produce the wheat and vegetables we are likely to find in something as endearing as a Rockwellian Beefaroni.

And to further endear me to their company and products, they’ll soon have an online “community” where I can chat and share advice with other “mums”. Certain to be ensconced in Chef Boyardee ads, no less. Sadly, they won’t be the first corporation to create or buy out a “green”, “eco” or “natural” moms club. That seems to be the trend right now – create a meeting place (online and/or in person) for moms who want to live green and build focus groups to test your products, hand out samples, and push your products. Forget support and building relationships. Forget about real, face-to-face community. Let’s get product out there and sell, using moms to test and sample under the guise of friendship and support. Push “natural” and “green” products or not so much.

Fortunately, I know a few thousand moms who are pretty darn smart. We’re not buying “wholesome” from Chef Boyardee. We’re not buying “eco” sales strategies targeting moms. We want to find credible, authentic people and companies who are passionate about truly natural products. Companies and people who understand sustainability and practice it. We want to gather with moms and learn about great products – not straight from people who are protecting their bottom line, but from people who have used them and adore them. We want to buy from people who “get it” and who share our passion for health and sustainability. We may not have degrees in nutrition (although some of us hold them), but we are resourceful and smart. We’re holistic moms. And we’re not buying any of it.

Dining with Kids

I was having dinner with a friend in an upscale cafe the other night and there was a large table together with a few kids of different ages. One of the moms had a screamer. Not a crying/upset screamer but a "I just found my voice" screamer who would pierce the restaurant din with a high-pitched yell every now and then. Startling, at times, but it made me smile because I remember those days. Not so for the patrons at the next table. "Should I give them a look?" I overheard from the man sitting there, as they discussed the situation. And he did, after a few more times. He was turned away from me, but I could sense the nasty, cold stare that he was directing toward the mom. And I cringed.

My kids are not good diners. My first was a crying/upset/miserable screamer. So much so that we didn't eat out at all until he was over three - after a few nerve-racking attempts. My second is much more mild-mannered but he's a swiper and a thrower. Anything within arms reach is promptly overturned, leaving me or my husband with a lap full of food or drinks if our reflexes are too slow. And he hurls toys and books unexpectedly. He's hit a few random diners with crayons and the like. So I know "the look" all too well. But I also know the forgiving smiles from others who say "Don't worry I have kids, too" or the kindness of the stranger who remarked "He's got a good arm - maybe he'll be a pitcher."

And what does "the look" help? Do we not understand that children are children? That very young children who have "found their voice" don't understand "shhh" or "inside voice" just yet? Are we so intolerant as a culture that we are unable to forgive the inconveniences of the next generation or so forgetful as to dismiss that we ourselves likely engaged in similar behaviors?

I felt for the mom, the recipient of "the look". She was dressed up and smiling, nervously. She was likely enjoying a rare night out - perhaps with out-of-town friends or family, or maybe even as a vacationer herself. Others had brought along children but she was singled out. I wanted to yell at "the look" giver, as a mom. The noise faded into the background for me. Funny how, as parents, you no longer notice the loudness of children in any environment. I likely gave "the look" to someone myself in my pre-motherhood days. I could never have imagined the volume of my household before it was populated by two rambunctious boys (and two dogs). Silence isn't something familiar to us and I can't say I mind all that much.

So, for the record, my sincerest apologies to anyone in my past to whom I ever gave "the look" to. I have only now begun to understand. And to the rest - seriously reconsider inflicting a scolding, "you are a bad mother" look the next time someone else's child breaks your "peace". Mothers have enough guilt, they don't need more. Perhaps some day you will understand - or remember - what it's like to be a child, or a loving parent, and discover a little tolerance for dining with kids.

Celebrating and Encouraging Breastfeeding

This week is World Breastfeeding Week, a celebration of the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action (WABA) that works to protect, promote, and support breastfeeding worldwide. WBW's 10 Steps to Successful Breastfeeding encourages all maternity service facilities to take specific actions to train staff, educate mothers, and eliminate barriers to achieving breastfeeding goals for all children.

Indeed, the barriers are widely present: BoobyTraps as Best for Babes calls them. They are "cultural and institutional barriers" that bombard moms and sabotage their efforts to nurse their children. Among these traps are institutional barriers such as hospitals offering inadequate support and expertise to new moms and cultural barriers including the discouragement nursing moms experience when attempting to feed their babies in public (or not so public) locations.

Nothing short of cultural, institutional, and political change is necessary to remedy the current climate around breastfeeding. Women not only need support and education about the benefits of breastfeeding their children, but also the awareness that it takes determination and commitment. Healthcare institutions need to preach true wellness and to actively discourage practices within their facilities that steer women away from what is truly best for their babes: breastmilk. That means moving formula out - out of gift bags for new moms, out of their usual protocol - no matter how unpopular. And women need aggressive laws in every state to protect their right to feed their children wherever they may be, at any time.

Breastfeeding is not just for lactation militants. It's for every mom and babe who is willing and able. It is not radical nor "hippie". Thanks to Best for Babes, it is increasingly chic and stylish! And it is normal. Moms from all walks of life, of all ages, are nursing their babies in all sorts of places. Watch our own inspiring video, Nursing Our Future, to see for yourself!

Celebrate breastfeeding this week. Nurse your babes or encourage someone who is nursing. Smile and say "great job" to a nursing mom. Share Nursing Our Future with a friend or future mom. Get involved in helping to overcome Booby Traps and help women - and babies - get support for a healthy start!

Holistic Moms Applaud Open Conversation about Childbirth

The Holistic Moms Network (HMN), a national non-profit organization, applauds Self Magazine and writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner for asking the question “Who Controls Childbirth?” in the July 2010 issue. The personal, thoughtful piece explains one woman’s exploration into her traumatic first birth and her desire to reexamine her experience as she prepares for another child. Her personal journey highlights the growing holistic birth movement spearheaded by such advocates as midwife Ina May Gaskin and talk show host Ricki Lake.

It is the opinion of the Holistic Moms Network that the movement toward reclaiming birth is not about judging birthing women and evaluating their decisions but about exposing the culture of birth that has been created here in the United States – one that is based in fear and uncertainty and that does not afford women the basic right to choose when, where, and how to birth their children. The continuously rising C-section rates in the United States reveal an opportunity to question the institutions involved in the birthing process, not to question or criticize the mothers. Women are not provided with viable options for natural childbirth and choices that fall outside of the increasingly medical model of childbirth in this country are not supported by the existing healthcare system. Instead, women’s voices are disrespected and many women, such as Ms. Brodesser-Akner, experience traumatic birth at the hands of professionals who disregard their emotional and psychological desires about their birth experiences.

“At the Holistic Moms Network,” explains Nancy Massotto, Ph.D., “we encourage women to become informed about the risks and benefits of all healthcare procedures, including those prevalent in childbirth practices. But without a fundamental shift in how we think about birth and how the institutions designed to support women through this natural process practice, women will have a hard time reclaiming the birth experience.”

The World Health Organization and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services agree that, for the safety of both mothers and babies, a country’s C-section rate should not exceed 10-15%. The American medical institutions are not heeding these recommendations, with recent rates rising to more than 31% in 2007. A 2002 study published in the British Medical Journal indicates that medical intervention has become commonplace in childbirth in developed countries “without evidence of effectiveness”, not as a result of medical necessity but rather due to the attitude, support, and practice of healthcare institutions.

Celebrity spokesperson for the organization, Mayim Bialik, who was interviewed for the article agrees: “I am honored to be a part of the ongoing discussion about natural and holistic options for childbirth, and I hope to see the day very soon when the U.S. achieves the low infant and maternal mortality rates recommended by the W.H.O. and UNICEF that many other Western countries have accomplished. I applaud communities that support a variety of opinions, especially when those opinions converge to promote healthy babies, healthy moms, and a healthy understanding of the value of natural childbirth.”

“We hope this article opens up the door for a wider conversation about respecting the desires of mothers while supporting them with the best care available,” says Dr. Massotto. “As an organization, we recognize that support is invaluable for parents at every stage, and birth is no exception.”

Turn Your Vacation Green!

Vacation season is in full swing! People are loading up their cars, heading for the airport, and seeking out some down time, often at the beach, the lake, or in other natural environments to restore balance and our energy. But what impact does your travel have on the planet? Do you think green when you go on vacation? Maybe you should!

What exactly is green or sustainable travel? According to TravelGreen.org, sustainable travel "...focuses on reducing the environmental impact of travel and preserving cultural heritage. It generates income and employment for travel destinations while protecting local ecosystems and preserving local culture. Sustainable travel encompasses a holistic approach to the business of travel that creates value for the traveler, economic opportunity for local communities and business opportunities for the industry."

Travel leaves an undeniable impact on the environment. Carbon emissions from airplanes are released high in the atmosphere, creating an even greater effect on climate change than emissions from cars and buses. In addition, air travelers produce an estimated 7.5 million pounds of trash every day from improperly discarding paper, plastic and food waste both while waiting in the terminal and on board, according to the New York Times. You can help reduce impact by opting for a direct flight and choosing flights that carry more passengers. Check out other travel options - train and bus transport also reduces impact. You might also look into staying closer to home and discovering some of the great spots in your own neck of the woods! When flying is a must, you can help reduce your impact by purchasing carbon offsets from organizations such as TerraPass which then, in turn, invests in carbon reducing projects. And, you can be conscious of your waste and your personal impact along the way.

What else can you do when traveling? Consider renting a hybrid car, as they "produce up to 90% fewer pollutants than their gas-guzzling equivalents, which makes for a healthier ozone layer," according to Travelocity.com. Or book a reservation in a green hotel with a commitment to operating sustainably. Or stock up on eco-conscious travel gear in advance that will reduce your waste and your impact, such as reusable water bottles and food wraps. Once you've arrived, take advantage of the opportunity to hike, bike, or use public transportation to see the sites and to cut down on your impact. Seek out area restaurants serving fresh, local food, support local farmers and businesses along the way, and green up your vacation. Being conscious is the first step and making it green will make it more memorable for you and for your family!

Looking for more ideas? Join us for this week's Twitter Party at #holisticmoms at 10 pm on Tuesday the 20th with Travelocity's Travel for Good and share your ideas, ask questions, and live greener!

Karma

One of the simple surprises of everyday parenting is the opportunity to teach amazing lessons at the most unexpected moments. A seemingly random act or situation can prove to be great fodder to expressing important values about life, health, and kindness to your children. And kids take up these lessons quickly and earnestly - they seem to "get it" on an intuitive level and replicate them in short order.

The other evening provided just such a perfect opportunity. After a trip to the chiropractor, we stopped for a quick dinner out before heading home. Halfway through our meal, the waitress wandered over to inform us that someone had just paid our bill, anonymously. We were pleasantly surprised and delighted, of course (and thankful to whoever was responsible!). My 9 year old was enchanted by the kindness and the mystery. In turn, we promptly paid our young waitress a hefty tip and embarked on a long discussion of paying it forward and karma on the ride home.

Returning a kind favor made perfect sense to my son, without question. He recalled the time he gave up his ice cream money at school to another student who had forgotten hers and immediately linked the concepts. He smiled at the recollection. Children are empowered by giving and treating others with kindness, as Anna Unkovich, Education Director of the Pay It Forward Foundation notes. Giving can raise a child's self-esteem as well as her self-awareness. Volunteering, or giving of one's time, is beneficial for children and adults by enhancing self-identity and giving a sense of meaningful action, according to Cornell University researchers.

Teaching children kindness is an important aspect of parenting. Researchers at UC Davis have argued that altruistic behavior is more learned and culturally derived than genetically programmed. Humane educator and author Zoe Weil says:

"As parents, I believe we have a responsibility to raise conscious and conscientious children who have the knowledge, will and capacity to address grave problems such as climate change, escalating worldwide slavery, alarming rates of species extinction, terrorism, an energy crisis, and more. If we fail to embrace this responsibility, I believe we fail our children because they will inherit a world worse off than that of our own generation."

We can teach our children about kindness, about giving, and about good karma by modeling it - by being living examples of how to live gently, sustainably, and consciously in this world and by building a supportive community that exemplifies these values. Zoe Weil's MOGO Questionnaire (Most Good) is a great tool for identifying the values and perspectives you wish to model for your children and to teach. Passing on kindness is contagious and even young children can understand it. Grasp those everyday opportunities and know that you can help lay a very powerful foundation for your children.

When Skepticism Pays Off

It's easy to get swept up in the tidal wave of "green" and "natural" products. It seems everyone is jumping on the bandwagon and claiming that they have developed an eco-conscience these days, but a healthy dash of skepticism is definitely in order.

As demand for more natural, earth-friendly products has increased, so has the number of companies claiming to fulfill this demand - and exponentially so. But consumers take heed - greenwashing is here! What is greenwashing? According to Greenpeace, greenwash is "used to describe the act of misleading consumers regarding the environmental practices of a company or the environmental benefits of a product or service." In other words, companies are manufacturing products and labeling them as green or natural without any real basis to do so or claiming that they are taking steps to "green" their company or factories to gain credibility in the growing natural market. Why? In some cases, according to stopgreenwash.org, companies have been forced to clean up their industries by law or a court decision but spin their actions as a good deed on their part to be more environmentally conscious. Painting themselves "green" may also attract investors and staff to their industry or products, as well as consumers. But behind the smoke and mirrors, no real change is happening (except, perhaps, in the company's profits). BP, for example, now entangled in the worst oil spill in our history, launched a $200 million greenwashing campaign, complete with a earth-friendly sun logo and partnership with the National Wildlife Federation to portray themselves as supporters of the environment, despite their primary industry - oil drilling and refinery.

And these companies are succeeding. According to an article in the New Scientist earlier this year, consumer perception of how "green" a company is based upon their ads or media campaigns is very different from the reality. So how is a consumer to navigate through greenwashing? It's not always easy. Start with trying to uncover the truth behind the claims or ads. You might follow your gut instinct, as the Greenwashing Index recommends, or take a peek at some of their greenwashing ads, showcasing some dubious claims. You can also do some online research by visiting company websites to determine what organizations and associations they support or belong to, or what partnerships they may have to reveal their core intentions and mission. You might also look for authentic green certifications such as LEED for green building or read up on some blogs such as the Greenwash Brigade to determine the validity of corporate claims. Get to know your producers - whether local farmers, businesses, or manufacturers. Sometimes, a personal touch makes a huge difference in knowing the truth behind the marketing!

Parenting by Fear: Sun Safety

Too much of what we are told to do as parents is driven by fear - and by mass marketing campaigns. Advertisers pummel us with messages about the benefits of drinking milk and pediatricians advise us to "switch over" by age one. Scientists - and advertisers - invoke fear to encourage parents to follow the mandatory vaccination schedule and to put their children "safely" to bed in their cribs. And this time of year it's all about sunscreen. Not putting sunscreen on your child might elicit gasps of horror from the experts, not to mention other parents. But what we don't talk enough about is the actual safety of all the creams and sprays we chase our children around with to be sure they don't get burned.

Thanks to the Environmental Working Group (EWG), discovering the truth about sunscreen safety just got easier. EWG's 2010 Sunscreen Guide exposes the good, the bad, and the ugly about the industry and their products. Shockingly, 92 percent of the sunscreens reviewed by EWG's experts were found to either be lacking in their claims of protection against skin damage or contain potential "hormone-disrupting chemicals." So before you lather up at your next beach excursion, BBQ, or outdoor playdate, let's take a look at sun safety.

For starters, EWG points out that sunscreen alone does not protect you from sun damage. Hats, sunglasses, shirts and, of course, some shade, are all important ways to shield yourself from overexposure. And then comes the sunscreen. EWG's database helps guide you through 1,400 brands to help make a conscious choice. Many of these brands contain harmful ingredients, such as oxybenzone or Vitamin A (retinyl palmitate), the latter of which may actually hasten cancer cell growth on the skin. The jury is still out about whether or not sunscreen actually prevents skin cancer or sun damage at all, so how to proceed is a choice we all have to make individually. Growing research on the importance of Vitamin D also suggests that our excessive use of sunscreen may actually be detrimental to our health.

Yet overexposure to sun and subsequent sunburn are neither healthy nor fun. Finding a decent sunscreen can be done, once you understand the validity of SPF claims and the benefits and risks of ingredients. Start with reading EWG's 9 Surprising Truths and then head over to find your sunscreen in their database. Be sure to check out their Hall of Shame. Keep in mind that this is big business and the market is driven by demand. When parents work with advocacy groups such as EWG and vote with their dollars, companies will be forced to take notice. Shop responsibily and make informed choices.

Still have questions? Then join us for a Twitter Party on Tuesday, June 29th at 10 PM EST at #holisticmoms with EWG Senior Analyst Sonya Lunder to learn more! Haven't been to a Twitter Party yet? Visit our website here to get started. They are easy, fun, and packed with great information!

My New Superhero: Michael Pollan

Hero (-noun): a man of distinguished courage or ability.
Superhero (-noun): a hero possessing extraordinary, often magical powers.

Michael Pollan is my new superhero. Hero is all fine and good (with the exception of the incredible irony that a hero is also "the bread or roll used in making a hero sandwich" which might or might not qualify as food, according to Mr. Pollan - but more about that in moment). But superhero more accurately embraces the overwhelming brilliance and simplicity (with a nice dash of humor) found in Michael Pollan's book, In Defense of Food. Certainly both courage and ability were needed for such a great work, taking on nutritionism with clarity and depth. Michael Pollan is, however, more than able and courageous. In Defense of Food is an extraordinary, magical exploration of how we got ourselves into this nutritional mess and the practical, clever ways to get ourselves back to health.

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. But of course, you might think. What else should we eat but food and not too much of it? So obvious and yet so blatantly disregarded by our culture and the powers that be in the food industry. As Pollan explains, the "food-like substances" that fill our supermarkets, pantries, and shelves are not food in any real sense, but laboratory-concocted products that fake nutritional status with their claims but confuse our bodies and create a lack of well-being. Real food grows in the ground and walks the earth (or flies or swims). It's simple and whole. Food. Something we seem to have forgotten.

Twenty years ago I took up the mantra that I would not buy any food product with more than five ingredients. How charming to find this among Pollan's recommendations, along with similar suggestions about not eating food with ingredients you cannot recognize or pronounce. But even more charming is his recognition of the powerful role of mothers in the nutrition and health of their families. Yes! We, the moms, need to realize that we are responsible for the quality of our children's diets as well as their awareness about food and nutrition. Our children "won't eat anything but junk" if we offer them junk. If "food-like substances" are what our children are being offered - products whose sweetness or saltiness excites the palate with their chemical reactions - then what else can we expect? Our children learn about food from us as well as from our culture. Changing our relationship with food and what we classify as food is integral to the survival of our planet and to our own health and vitality.

Just last week my son had to listen to me rant about how the "play sushi" his class made in school, consisting of rice cereal and Twizzlers candy, was indeed decidely not food and had nothing to do with "cooking" (which was the reason for the demonstration). It was no short rant. He rolled his nine-year old eyes with an "Oh, Mom. It was just for fun." As a mother, I could be worried. But he gets it. He can read a supermarket sticker and identify GMO, conventional and organic produce. He proudly tells me about store items that have only two ingredients and loves winding our way through the farmer's market to see what we can discover. He happily heads out to the garden to pull fresh herbs for dinner and delights in identifying them as he eats them with gusto. He is not your average American child. And I beam with pride about that. We are defenders of food. I think we should all have our own superhero costumes and march our way through convenience stores to raise awareness. C'mon Mr. Pollan - you'd make a great caped crusader!

Seriously, though, this is an important crusade. Children's obesity is on the rise in alarming rates. We are plagued by illnesses that have been cultivated in the food industry factories and on the shelves of our supermarkets. Our children do not understand where food comes from or why it matters, much less how to cook or grow food. We need to start at home and take up the challenge of becoming defenders of food - real food. Eat food - real food. And lots of it. Learn how to eat local and organic. Teach your children the difference between food and food-like products. They naturally embrace what they can feel, taste, smell, and touch. Guide them and they will follow.

And do check out the first issue of Holistic Mom's newly reformatted e-magazine, The Wise Mom. The Wise Mom is the digital voice of our members and this issue happens to highlight local, real food. Become a defender of food. The next generation could use a few more superheroes!

My New Favorite T-Shirt

This past weekend I had the pleasure to surround myself with literally hundreds of women who have dedicated their lives to women and birth - midwives. The Holistic Moms Network was an exhibitor at the American College of Nurse Midwives' (ACNM) 55th Annual Meeting, a powerful event honoring and celebrating midwifery. ACNM's mission is simple yet profound: "to promote the health and well-being of women and infants within their families and communities through the development and support of the profession of midwifery as practiced by certified nurse-midwives, and certified midwives. The philosophy inherent in the profession states that nurse-midwives believe every individual has the right to safe, satisfying health care with respect for human dignity and cultural variations." Midwives get it. They understand that moms want respect and dignity. They recognize that women have the power to birth and are capable of delivering babies naturally. And they honor the process of birth, breastfeeding, and mother-to-mother support. But they have a uphill battle on their hands.

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) cesarean birth rates rose 53% between 1996 and 2007, reaching 32% nationwide - the highest ever recorded in the United States. Even though the CDC's own report recognizes that "Cesarean delivery involves major abdominal surgery, and is associated with higher rates of surgical complications and maternal rehospitalization, as well as with complications requiring neonatal intensive care unit admission" and that "in addition to health and safety risks for mothers and newborns, hospital charges for a cesarean delivery are almost double those for a vaginal delivery, imposing significant costs," American women and birth professionals are not listening.

Why are c-section rates rising? According to the Childbirth Connection, the common myths are that women are opting for unnecessary c-sections for convenience and/or that more births are now requiring surgical intervention. However, research does not bear this out. Rather, common birth interventions, a cultural and medical bias that does not support a woman's ability to birth vaginally, casual attitudes toward surgery and medical intervention, and provider malpractice concerns seem to be contributing to the rising rates. Yes, mothers need to be informed about their options and be aware of potential risks of c-section surgery but they alone are not responsible for this birthing trend. Providers need to step up and acknowledge that our current birthing mentality is endangering our women and babies on many levels.

Why consider a midwife? Midwives start out with an entirely different viewpoint that sees birth as a normal, natural life process. Birth is not a "cookie cutter" event - it's different for every woman and every child. If your familiarity with birth is what you have seen on television, it is definitely time to expand your horizons! Beautiful birth can happen in many ways, many positions, many places. Midwives see themselves as assistants, attendants, and helpers to a natural process, not directors trying to control the action. Midwives also take time to care for their patients on a personal and emotional level, as well as a physical one and their care improve outcomes for both mothers and babies.

If you are making birth choices, start by raising your awareness about the options available to you. Check out Choices in Childbirth's free online Guide to a Healthy Birth to learn more and to find great resources, such as questions to ask your healthcare provider about birth. Talk to other moms, meet with a midwife and a doula, attend a childbirth class, watch a variety of birth videos, and empower yourself with the knowledge to make the best birth choice for you and for your baby!

And the Ants Go Marching In

As hard as I try to be a nature lover, I must confess that I am not a fan of bugs. I am less squeamish about them as the mother of two boys, one of whom went through a bug stage so we had lots of first hand experiences, but I do not want them in my home. I am also not a fan of chemicals or pesticides. So when the ants started to march through my living room, it was time to discover some natural solutions to my uninvited visitors.

Why natural? Several reasons: for one, I feel passionately about keeping chemicals out of my home and away from my family as much as I can. We eat mostly organic food, use non-toxic cleaning and personal care products, and seek out healthcare that focuses on natural solutions. Research shows that home pesticides have been implicated in rising rates of everything from asthma to childhood leukemia, enough to make me take pause. My concern about the dangers of pesticides and insecticides extend beyond my family as well and there is mounting evidence that runoff and residues of these chemicals are wreaking havoc with the environment. According to RATE (Real Alternatives to Toxins in the Environment), more than 16 million US citizens are sensitive to pesticides and the rates of multiple chemical sensitivities are on the rise. According to the US Fish and Wildlife service, pesticides kill more than 67 million birds each year and between 6 and 14 million fish annually.

Fortunately, there are an amazing number of natural "remedies" for a variety of bug issues. Who knew that simple cucumber peels could have so much value? According to Planet Natural the peels of cucumbers can be placed where ants, wasps, and other insects are entering your home to deter them. Have moths? You can deter them with cloves or build a water trap. Fleas? You can rinse your pets in a lemon oil solution or grind up rosemary to sprinkle on your pet bedding and pets for a simple home solution. Sage and rosemary can also help deter mosquitoes. Throw some on your summer grill to keep the pests away from your BBQ guests. A variety of herbs and spices - used both inside your home and planted in your garden - act as natural bug repellents. Mint, basil and bay leaves repel flies, while cinnamon and garlic deter ants. Nasty cockroaches? Mix up equal parts of baking soda and powdered sugar and place where you see them to rid them from your kitchen cabinets.

Nature provides us with an tool kit for dealing with unwanted pests that is simple, affordable, and safe. We invite you to share your tips and experiences with natural pest solutions on our blog or online member communities.

Long Term Dangers

One of the biggest challenges we face in encouraging people to change their lifestyles to healthier, more sustainable choices is the inability for us to cultivate our long-term vision. The busier we are, the more embedded in the fast pace of our work and our lives, the harder it is to think about the consequences of our choices in a year, ten years, or even a generation. But it is across those generations that we see the gravest dangers and the harshest realities.

A lifetime of consuming junk food will eventually catch up with you in the form of disease. It's not easy to muster up the enthusiasm or commitment to a healthier diet when the outcome is not readily apparent. Nor is it simple to explain the dangers of environmental toxins on our well-being and on the future. Yet the research is becoming increasingly more ominous.

Consider, for example, a recent study published by Yale University about the dangers of Bisphenol A (BPA). According to the research, fetal exposure to BPA during pregnancy may permanently alter female fertility. Says Dr. Hugh S. Taylor, professor of Obstetrics, Gynecology & Reproductive Sciences at Yale University, “What our mothers were exposed to in pregnancy may influence the rest of our lives. We need to better identify the effect of environmental contaminants on not just crude measures such as birth defects, but also their effect in causing more subtle developmental errors.” That means the canned soup you ate on a cold winter day or the canned beans you used for your chili could put your child at risk, even if they were labeled "organic", according to Consumer Reports. Reusable aluminum bottles, as well as plastic ones, can also post a huge risk and may be leaching BPA into your much-needed-during pregnancy drinking water. BPA is alarmingly present in our bodies and in our babies. According to a report of the Environmental Working Group (EWG), BPA was found in the umbilical cords of 90% of infants tested.

We cannot undo what we did not know, of course, and we all have enough mother guilt than to carry this as well. What we can do is become informed about toxins in our environment, including BPA, and work to eliminate them from our world as much as possible. A great place to start is with Alicia Voorhies' free guide Avoiding Toxic Plastic. Alicia shares what she has uncovered as a parent in this helpful guide and through her business, The Soft Landing. Every parent, expecting parent, and future parent needs to heed the call and step into a place of long-term vision for their own health and the health of future generations. If we don't, there may not be a future generation to share our knowledge and awareness with.

Food and Wellness

Several times last week I felt the undeniable urge to bang my head against the wall in frustration. Each time it had to do with the simple idea that food impacts health and wellness. Yes, food. Such common knowledge, one might think. Don't we all know that sugar makes our kids hyper, caffeine can give us the jitters, and junk food can result in a stomach ache? Didn't the film Super Size Me (and many others) teach us that what we eat will directly impact our health? Then why are we not getting it? Are lifestyle changes really too hard to tackle?

My first head-banging came when a fellow mom lamented her kids' ADHD. We were casually chatting on the phone about an upcoming school event and she had called because of my children's food allergies. "Oh, I tried to go gluten free for like a week" she told me. "And it didn't do a thing." In her next breath, she screamed off in the background to her kids "I didn't say you could have another Oreo. Put that back!" Bang, bang goes the head. Since the 1960s, the Dr. Feingold of the Feingold Association has been providing research and dietary advice showing how the consumption of food additives and artificial ingredients have been affecting learning and behavior. Just last week a new article in Time Magazine linked ADHD with the consumption of pesticides, further clarifying the link between diet and behavior.

The following day, a dad was talking to me about his son's asthma and the need for ongoing steroids to help his breathing. We chatted about triggers while his son guzzled a chocolate milk and picked on cheese cubes. Had he tried going dairy free? "No, that would be way too difficult!" Another bang. At what point has swallowing, injecting, or inhaling laboratory-concocted pharmaceuticals become decidedly "easier" and more acceptable than feeding our children differently and healthfully? Yes, there is controversy over whether or not diet can help all kids with asthma or ADHD, for that matter, but what about giving it a try? (Note: There is also research indicting that raw, unpasturized dairy actually reduces the likelihood of asthma, but that's for another discussion.)

The final draw came in a brief conversation with another parent who was exhausted by her child's hyperactivity. His medication did not kick in until after breakfast and that time frame was the most challenging. We talked about a variety of parenting tools. She and her husband chose a reward system. The reward? Candy. Bang.

As humans we are creatures of habit. We like our routines and we love our food. But diet should be a first and basic lifestyle change for anyone looking to improve wellness. Whether you are dealing with ADHD or asthma, eczema or autism, learning disabilities or cancer, diet is a fundamental place to start. I personally was raised in a traditional Italian-American family with a grandmother who cooked everything from scratch but as I grew up, convenience foods became all the rage and things like Hamburger Helper™ and Twinkies™ found their way into my diet. I have been a health food nut and a vegetarian, have gone both gluten-free and grain-free, and have eaten a traditional, paleolithic diet as well as having dabbled in juicing and raw foods. Each change brought with it some challenges and new tastes and also produced dramatic results for me and my family with regard to health and behavior. Like many forms of true healing, you cannot change for a day or even a week. Nutritional change is slow and modification takes time. No one is perfect but changing how you eat - how we all eat - is nothing short of revolutionary when it comes to wellness. How we have strayed so far from the Father of Medicine, Hippocrates', famous mantra "Let food be your medicine and medicine be your food" boggles the mind. Health begins with what we put in our bodies and food is the obvious first place to start.

A Little Bite of Heaven

Thanks to Theo Chocolate and the wonderful mamas of the Holistic Moms Network's National Team, my birthday yesterday included a fabulous, succulent bite of heaven - Ghost Chile Salted Caramels. This fantastic concoction combines buttery, rich caramel covered in organic, fair trade chocolate with a spicy hint of chile and topped with a dash of red sea salt. It plays on your tongue, igniting every tastebud and lingers with a sweet, salty heat that is almost indescribable. Those who know me, know that I am a huge chocolate lover and a foodie to boot. I love food and relish every savory, sweet moment. And now, I have even more reason to celebrate.

Let's start with what is great about chocolate. For starters, dark chocolate has some wonderful health benefits including cardiovascular benefits and stress reduction. According to Dr. van den Broek, consuming 40 grams of dark chocolate reduces measurable urinary excretions of cortisol thus positively impacting stress and anxiety levels among women. Nice bonus. But eating chocolate - or much of anything else - is more than a health balance equation for me. It's an experience, a moment, a meditation. Yes, a meditation!

Little did I know that my passion for food and moments of sensory bliss are part of a practice in mindfulness. "Eating meditation", like other mindfulness practices, helps us to stop and savor the present moment, reducing stress and strengthening our ability to focus. According to Richard Brady of the Mindfulness in Education Network, eating meditation is "is simply eating to be aware of and appreciate eating." Jay Michaelson writes in "Eat Your Way to Enlightment" that eating meditation "is among the simplest, and most profound, of mindfulness practices." Using the Kabbalistic map of the four worlds, he describes how you can experience a piece of food first in the body (looking with your eyes, feeling with your fingers), in the heart (what are your desires and feelings), in the mind (consider how the food was raised, grown, or made), and in the soul (the energy and divinity of the food). Incorporating these practices into every meal, or even a few bites, gives us a wider experience of the subtleties of food, an awareness and appreciation of the source of food, as well as a sincere gratitude and understanding of the importance and value of what we consume. A simple bite can transform a basic, mundane necessity in a moment of enlightenment, peace, and pleasure. And it is in those moments that we are most alive and most present.

As parents, it's easy to get caught up in the mundane of our daily routines and to keep our minds racing to the next task, the next job - trying to keep one step ahead of our children to ensure their health, safety, and well-being. But slowing down and being present, while eating or parenting in any other way, can create those timeless moments that we will long remember and treasure.

Excuse me while I grab some more chocolate and go meditate!

My Life is Not a Hallmark Card

If you listen to the media, motherhood is a giant Hallmark card filled with flowers, hugs, and sweet moments. And, in some cases, it is. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the overwhelming joy and love that I have for my children. I could never have imagined the indescribable beauty of a little one nestled in my arms whether nursing or sleeping, the uplifting power of a child's laughter, or the playful curiousity you see in the eyes of a babe. But I could also never have imagined the challenges of years of chronic sleep deprivation, the anxiety of hearing my child cry, or the uncertainty of losing myself and my identity through motherhood.

My motherhood experience has not been an easy one. But in each event, I have learned, grown, and discovered new abilities - and failings. My first child was (and is) intense. From birth on, he has presented challenges and gifts. Unwavering passion and spirit guide him. As a two year old, that meant tantrums, screaming, and aggression. He has struggled with food allergies and sensory issues, yet displays social ease and an intelligence that boarders on remarkable. We never slept (despite bed-sharing) and he nursed with a ferocity that shocked me. We woke at 4 a.m. for nearly a year, gave up naps at 18 months old, and by age three we were spending our days reciting scientific trivia about dinosaurs and pondering the mysteries of outer space. Attachment parenting saved us, but through it I lost the boundaries between self and child and my identity collapsed. Motherhood was lonely, frustrating, and exhausting. Family members exiled us for our holistic choices and pointed fingers at our lifestyle options whenever something "wrong" happened. My marriage suffered and at times, I felt like I was drowning.

By the second child, I had started to regain identity and realized that motherhood was the hardest job I would ever love (to borrow a phrase). I could never have imagined moterhood being more challenging than I had experienced with my first child. But the universe had another plan. I was blessed with a child with special needs, presenting new mountains to climb from a near-death crisis right a birth to ongoing developmental challenges that have added a while new vocabulary to my world (IEPs, OT, PT, and more). I simulateously found a new respect for allopathic medicine and an amazing distrust of it, as my child's life was saved and then misdiagnosed and mistreated with arrogance and callousness. I learned enormous patience from my children and a sense of connection and empathy that far surpassed what I had known before. I became aware - aware of the power of the choices that I made every day for the health and well-being of my family, whether it pertained to what we ate, how we lived, or what we did. Motherhood helped me learn to stand my ground in tough times and find a way through, rather than out. I stood with vomit in my hair, with strong-willed children, and through many days of preschool to ensure that separation anxiety was not part of our life. There were Hallmark moments, to be sure, but there were more painful, powerful, transformative moments as well. Moments that shook my core and took me to a new level of beingness. And moments where being connected to other moms and knowing that they were out there made it all possible.

This Mother's Day had its "Hallmark moments" and made me smile. But reflecting on the harsher side of motherhood made me truly, sincerely grateful for the experience and filled me with excitement for how much more I will learn in the future. Okay, in all honesty, a bit of dread there too for what may come, but mostly excitement. Motherhood has redefined me - for good and for ill - and has helped me grow in ways I never thought possible. Motherhood isn't all sweet smiles and roses, and having other mothers confirm that sentiment is life-affirming and reassuring on many levels. Having the tenacity and passion to find your way through is what makes motherhood worth celebrating and honoring - not just for a day, but every day. Happy Mothering!

When the Means are not Justified

There are times in the life of every business or organization that you have to make conscious choices about how to achieve your desired goals and what your priorities are. Sometimes the means justify the ends, but sometimes the means are so remarkably out of line with the core mission and purpose of the organization that they eat away at the very fabric and integrity of an organization.

I cannot think of a more appalling example of this than the new campaign from the Susan G. Komen Foundation's "Buckets for the Cure" effort. Partnering with KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken), the Foundation is receiving donations of 50 cents for every pink bucket of fried chicken purchased in order to further their objective of finding a cure. The Foundation states: "As the world’s largest grassroots network of breast cancer survivors and activists, we’re working together to save lives, empower people, ensure quality care for all and energize science to find the cures." News of this new campaign has been eating at me (pun intended) for a week now. And then the coupons arrived in my mailbox. Just for me - their "Breast Deal." A coupon for a fried chicken breast, mashed potatoes with gravy, and a biscuit - all for $2.59 so that I can "Join the cause." So that I can help empower myself to help find a cure by consuming products that put me at risk. Seriously?!?

How, in good conscience, this partnership arose is hard to fathom. The link between cancer and diet has been established time and time again through volumes of clinical research. Even the American Institute for Cancer Research's Expert Report entitled Food, Nutrition, Physical Activity and the Prevention of Cancer advises against processed and salty foods. The report notes that "salt and salt-preserved foods probably increase the chance of developing stomach cancer."

High fat diets have been linked to breast cancer - and for several generations. Science Daily reported on a study from the Georgetown Lombardi Comprehensive Cancer Center demonstrating that pregnant women who ate high-fat foods had daughters and granddaughters who had higher incidence of breast cancer. Women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer may be able to stall their cancer recurrence by consuming a low-fat diet, according to the American Cancer Society.

And who is going to be most inspired to help find a cure for breast cancer? Likely women. Women who may get pregnant and have children. Women who have had breast cancer. Women who want to end breast cancer - the very same women who should avoid salty, processed, high-fat foods. But instead of finding a cure, we are increasing their own risk by participating in this fundraising campaign.

My lovely "Breast Deal" coupon will buy me 130 calories from fat (3.5 grams of saturated fats) and 710 mgs of sodium just for the chicken breast. Mashed potatoes with gravy adds another 4 grams of fat (1 g saturated) and another 530 mg of sodium. Let's not forget my biscuit, with 6 grams of saturated fat and 530 additional mg of sodium. A lovely lunch for 519 calories, 10.5 grams of saturated fat, and 1,770 mgs of sodium. A sedentary female between the ages of 31-50 years old should consume less than 16 grams of saturated fat a day according to the American Heart Association and between 1,000 and 3,000 mgs of sodium per day according to Rutgers University. Let's not even discuss the lack of vital foods and nutrients promoted in this deal (not a fresh vegetable or antioxidant in sight) - these numbers already tip the scale out of balance.

Thank you, KFC, but I will not be joining you. And to the Susan G. Komen Foundation, I will definitely think before I pink!