Motherhood is Messy

I’ve never been one for the “Leave it to Beaver” family model. It doesn’t resonate with my personal experience of growing up in a large, loud, and moderately dysfunctional Italian American family. Like media portrayals of childbirth as quick, intense, and amazingly clean, visions of motherhood and its reality are often incongruous.

Motherhood is messy. It’s filled with vomit and diapers, milk stains and runny noses. There are nighttime accidents and crayon on the walls. There are broken toys and seemingly insurmountable messes of play things – from dough and crayons, to itty bitty Legos™ that you wind up stepping on, over and over. There are messy tantrums, in public and private, and meltdowns too numerous to count. Being a parent isn’t a Hallmark moment, it’s a marathon. And just because it isn’t a smiling family portrait all – or even most – of the time, does not make you a bad parent.

Mothers are particularly hard on themselves. The “bad mommy” syndrome persists across generations. We feel guilty because our child didn’t devour our gourmet kale and organic salmon dinner and instead ate frozen French fries and burgers. We admonish ourselves for losing our patience as our kids throw teary, fist-pumping fits in the mall and wonder what we did wrong. We blame ourselves for each and every mistake – real or imagined – that we have made along the journey. We all need to lighten up.

If your motherhood journey is messy, celebrate it. Laugh at it. Embrace it. And forgive it – and yourself. We each do the best we can with the resources that we have at the moment – whether that means our physical and environmental tools (such as information and finances), or our emotional stores (think patience). Being part of a community is one of the ways we begin to acknowledge the challenges of motherhood. It is the ultimate reality show. Seeing, knowing, feeling, and sensing that you are not the only one who has piles of dirty laundry or a hard time getting yourself into the shower is reaffirming. Parenting challenges you and stretches you. It should – and it ain’t always pretty. Knowing that you are not alone (and are not crazy) gives you the inner strength to continue. And having the opportunity to share your travails with other parents helps us all put things in perspective.

At Holistic Moms, we welcome parents from all walks of life and strive to create a supportive environment where we can connect, share, and learn. We honor the mess and the ups and downs. It is all part of the journey.

Keeping Pets Healthy: What's in the Can?

Are you a label reader? Do you know the ins and outs of organics, GMOs, food additives, and allergens? Do you scan kids' snacks for artificial ingredients and avoid the drive thru in your quest for wellness?

You are not alone! Many of us begin our journey into holistic living through nutrition. Whether the result of chronic condition or just a desire to be healthier or more fit, we often begin to understand wellness through diet. We make the simple connection between food and health and slowly make positive changes for ourselves and our families. But what about for our pets? Yes, pets! How far do you take your holistic principles? Do you think about the kibble or treats you share with your four-legged family members?

The pet food industry is a multi-billion dollar market. Commercial pet foods, like many commercial food brands, are often owned by corporate conglomerates whose first priority is not on the nutritional value or wellness potential of the products they are selling. What's really in your pet food? According to the Born Free Foundation: a whole lot of stuff that ought to concern you. Most dry pet foods are extruded - a process that essentially uses high heat to process grains into small shapes and bits, leaving little by way of nutritional value according to Sally A. Fallon, author and co-founder of the Weston A. Price Foundation. Although these kibbles are later sprayed with animal fats and flavors to make them more palatable, like processed breakfast cereals, they are devoid of many of the vitamins and minerals found in whole foods.

Canned foods may not provide a much better option. Wet pet foods are largely made from animal by-products "heads, feet, bones, blood, intestines, lungs, spleens, livers, ligaments, fat trimmings, unborn babies, and other parts not generally consumed by humans." To these parts many conventional pet foods add an extensive list of additives from colorings and flavorings to lubricants, leavening agents, and thickeners.

Chemical residues from pesticides, genetically modified organisms (GMOs), artificial flavorings and colorings, and a wide variety of preservatives (such as BHA and BHT) are frequently found in commercial pet food. The dangers? As with all junk foods and chemicals in our diets, increasing evidence links these ingredients to cancer, digestive problems, and heart disease among pets.

What to do? Take your own nutritional guidelines and carry them over to your pets! Become informed and learn how to read pet food labels. Learn how to find a better quality pet food, review the benefits of removing grains from your pet's diet, read up on raw foods, and consider organics and supplementation. Your pets can benefit from a healthy, holistic lifestyle change as well!

VOCs in Paint: Greenwashing

New baby on the way? Looking to spruce up your home? If you're a holistic-minded parent, you are likely looking out for low- or zero-VOC paint to start your project. But buyer beware: like so many other products in the "natural" marketplace, paint brands have taken to confusing labeling practices to attract the green consumer even when their products don't actually meet the desired goals. So let's talk about greenwashing interior paints.

Volatile Organic Compound (VOCs) are chemical compounds and solvents used in paints, including formaldehyde and benzene. Pigments used to color paints can also contain additional chemicals, such as lead and cadmium. When applied to your walls and left at room temperature, these chemicals "off-gas" and release into your indoor air. VOC exposure can trigger asthma attacks, respiratory issues, eye or skin irritation, dizziness, and nausea, while high levels of exposure may be linked to liver and kidney disease and cancer. VOCs are present in conventional paints at very high rates and may release into the air for more than a year after application.

Changing standards in the industry have created many low- or zero-VOC brands which will provide a less toxic option. However, there is a considerable degree of variation among brands and many confusing labeling practices. Water-based paints will contain fewer VOCs than oil-based paints, but beyond this there are many opinions about what low-VOC actually means. Low odor or low-VOC paints will have lower VOC levels than conventional counterparts, but whether this is assessed from the base or after adding the pigment is tricky. Larger paint brands may label low-VOC paints as such but consumers should ask if these include the addition of pigment.

Zero- or No-VOC paints will contain even fewer VOCs, but there is some question about whether VOC content and VOC emissions are clearly linked. Because VOCs combine with other particles in the air and form different compounds, even zero- or no-VOC paints may release more VOCs into the air than anticipated.

The most natural, least toxic paints you will find are non-toxic or natural paints formulated by a select number of alternative paint companies. These are derived from more natural raw ingredients and will provide the best option for green consumers. Old fashioned milk paints are free of VOCs and are a great option for people with chemical sensitivities, as are the few non-toxic paint brands.

Perfection, Quitting and the Sanctimonious

I don't have much time for drama. As a busy mom to two special children and partner to one very busy husband, not to mention a full-time career attempting to help thousands of other parents find support, community, and learn about natural living, there is little room for theatrics. But it is drama over parenting that caught my attention this week, via the world of blogging. Two blogs, two different authors, one annoying proposition about perfection. And so they inspired today's rant.

Both involve parenting. Both involve the demand for perfection and, consequently, the intolerance of others. And both rail against sanctimony, particularly with regard to attachment parenting.

First is an attack on a popular blogger who was called out as a false representative of attachment parenting because she has referred to her children disparagingly on her blog. As parents, especially ones who champion a philosophy of respect for children and preaching empathy, we must never, ever feel anger, frustration, or, even jokingly refer to our children in anything but the most positive light. Our children are our angels. No matter the tantrums or backtalk, the vomit or coloring on the walls, we must smile - always - and insist that our darlings are the center of our universe. More importantly, we must be critical and judgmental of all those around us who dare to show genuine frustration, get angry, or have a difficult day with parenting. Clearly, that doesn't happen to attached parents.

Another blogger finds this sanctimony to be too much and instead proclaims herself an attachment parenting dropout. Interestingly, I have never found reference to kale chips or organics among the organizations that advocate for attachment parenting. Even the 7 Baby B's of Dr. Sears fail to mention this as a criteria for attachment parenting, although I will say that these are common among holistic parents, as can be the sanctimonious attitude. Holistic, attached, green, or organic - whatever you want to label your parenting - there is no need for self-righteous behavior. Judging other parents for their vices does not make you "more" of anything, other than intolerant and critical. Each of us is on our own parenting journey and there is no one right road for all. We are all doing our best with the resources and tools that we have in this moment, on this day, with these circumstances. If we opt to eat junk food today or lapse into a moment of anger or frustration with our children, are we then to be banished from the realm of attached, holistic, or positive parenting forever? And who shall be our judge? Who among us is the perfect parent to cast out the rest? What does such intolerance serve, other than our own insecure egos?

Intolerance and perfectionism will destroy our own self-confidence and inhibit us from coming together as parents. It will create obstacles for supporting each other, prevent us from feeling empathy, and divide us on our parenting journeys. It will create an air of false superiority and judgment. And it will give all of these parenting styles a bad name.

It is no better to proclaim yourself a "dropout" either. You brand yourself a failure even though you are parenting within your own personal ideals. Good parenting is not an all-or-nothing proposition. "If you can't embrace all of it, why bother embracing any of it?" will get you nowhere, fast. If you can't eat healthy every day, why not indulge in junk food all the time and say the heck with it? If you lose your temper or don't feel like wearing your baby at the moment, let's drop all pretenses about connection and throw in the towel. Let's show our kids that quitting is the optimal solution when you're not perfect. There's an example they can live by.

Sarcasm aside, it's time parents - and particularly mothers - get off each others' backs. Most of us are trying to do the best that we can. We don't have perfect information, unlimited resources, or idyllic lives. We have real, authentic parenting experiences. We have days when our kids are our angels and days when they are brats. We have days where cheese poofs make us happy, no matter what their ingredients, and days where kale chips are a delight. And none of these days indicate a failure on our part. It simply means that we are human.

Forget the drama and the dropping out. Exercise a little tolerance - for each other and for ourselves. Kumbaya.

Rotten Apples

The following guest blog was written by Melinda Hicks, holistic mom and co-founder and president of Little Me Tea.

It took us all by surprise. The announcement on The Dr. Oz Show: “Your child’s apple juice may be contaminated with arsenic.” Considering how many of us have given our children copious amounts of this liquid gold, it’s no wonder parents everywhere panicked. Arsenic affects the nervous system and causes cancer—of all types. Dr. Oz himself was shocked and felt duped because he had been a proponent of using apple juice in place of cane sugar.

Should we be worried—or was this just another ruthless ratings scheme inflicted on a gullible public?

First things, first. Scientific results have merit. Dr. Oz and his folks broke the news and I have little doubt that the findings of their extensive testing are accurate. Of course, it caused controversy and some even said it was “scaremongering.”

Shoot the messenger, right?

But stalwart publication, Consumer Reports, echoed the Dr. Oz Show results in their January, 2012 issue. Consumer Reports’ thorough investigation is an eye-opener and well worth the read.
So, what do you think?

Should we blame the beverage manufacturers? After all, it’s their product and their responsibility. How could they not know that their juice was laced with arsenic? Maybe they did. Maybe they didn’t. The bottom line is this: if you’re not testing for arsenic, you won’t find it. Beverage manufacturers test for things like nutrient levels and use analyses to determine caloric and sugar content; unless they were concerned about the safety of their beverage—and in particular, arsenic—they would not test for it.

The real question is this: how did the juice become tainted with arsenic in the first place? As Consumer Reports stated, arsenic is prevalent, both as a naturally occurring element and through a number of man-made sources. Lead arsenate insecticides, pressure-treated lumber, coal-fired plants and smelters; they’re all culprits, tripling the amount of natural arsenic existing in the environment. Arsenic is plucked out of the soil by plants and trees and makes its way into the fruit, in the same way that a baby in the womb absorbs the substances that its mother ingests, regardless of how unhealthy those substances may be. Arsenic in the soil = arsenic in the fruit = arsenic in the juice. It’s that simple.

This isn’t scaremongering; it’s simply the facts. Houston, we have a problem.

Blame can be spread across the board: on the pesticide companies, the farmers who sprayed the fruit, and even our own country whose lax regulations allow potentially dangerous products on grocery shelves.

But is that where the blame should end?

We are part of an agricultural blueprint that has taken us far from our roots, toward a cheap and easy model of abundance at any cost. As consumers, we will not tolerate scarcity. At some point during the year, apples cease to grow in the U.S. and yet there they are—right in front of us on in the produce aisle—fat and happy throughout the year. Most of us don’t care how they got there; we’re just glad to see them. We also won’t tolerate imperfection. No spots on my apples, please. How many times have you picked up an apple, noticed a blemish, and flippantly tossed it back to its teetering stack?

We forget that Mother Nature is imperfect. She is also a tough adversary who likes to throw her weight around. Drought, disease, insects; more often than not, the odds are against us. We respond in kind, brandishing our own potent weapons. Chemical warfare is fought on the very fields that are meant to nourish us. The result: bright, spotless apples and plenty of them. While they look pretty and taste even better, they’re quite possibly hiding a dark secret.

But much as I would like to think the problem begins and ends with apples, the alarming fact is that our entire approach to the environment is fraught with reckless abandon toward the consequences of our actions. Leaded gasoline has left soil tainted with lead, which now shows up in our food and beverages. A flame retardant chemical has infiltrated everything on the planet, showing up in the blubber of whales and shockingly, in mothers’ breast milk. Coal plants emit mercury, which rains down from our blue skies and poisons our waterways, making the fish in our oceans risky to eat.

Arsenic in apple juice is yet another symptom of a sick planet. With all the mounting evidence of our self-prescribed poisoning, why are we so shocked to find that a simple bit of nourishment given to our children has also been tainted? Maybe because as mothers, we know that first and foremost, our job is to protect our children. And so when someone lifts the veil and reveals the true picture, we are angry—at those who delivered the message, at those we feel deserve the blame, and at ourselves for putting our children at risk.

What do we do about it? As an advocate for organics, my first question upon hearing the arsenic news was to wonder if organic apple juice contained dangerous level of arsenic. Fortunately, according to Dr. Oz, the levels of arsenic in organic apple juice samples did not exceed the 10ppm limit that the FDA sets for water (a bellwether for how they determined what constitutes dangerous levels). So the first thing that you can do is to buy organic, in all cases; not just apple juice. The idea of purity in this modern age is absurd; we must now deal with the lesser of evils and organic, while not perfect, is the cleanest food you can get in an unclean world. Memorize the Dirty Dozen list, and don’t buy a single conventional item that’s on it. Second, limit the amount of juice your children drink. Most children drink far more juice than is recommended. There are other options: water, milk, herbal teas.

But even more importantly, take action. Some ships have already sailed, but every day, we get the chance to vote with our wallets, to choose a cleaner environment. When we purchase conventional foods, we are giving power to the chemical companies who poison not just our environment, but also our bodies. When we buy caustic cleaners that flow down our sinks and into our water supply, we are in essence saying, “My clean house is more important than my clean body.” When we turn a blind eye to any environmental degradation, we are betraying our children’s future because we know that somewhere down the road, we will have to pay the price.
And make no mistake: we are paying the price. Whoever would have thought that an apple—such an elemental symbol of life itself—would become a representation of so much that is rotten in our world?

Melinda Hicks co-founded Big Time Tea, the parent company of Little Me Tea, in 2008 with her husband, Michael, when their daughter Julia turned four and they realized with great frustration the lack of healthy, low sugar drink options for kids. An avid tea drinker and advocate for an all-natural, organic lifestyle, Melinda began experimenting in her kitchen and created blends of drinks for Julia using caffeine-free teas splashed with organic juices. Julia loved Melinda’s concoctions and so did her friends who came for play dates. Other moms gave such great feedback, support and encouragement that Melinda created Little Me Tea.

Ditch the Resolutions

I am going to lose 15 pounds. I am going to get more sleep. I will spend more quality time with my kids. I will give up coffee.

Did your new year start off like this? So many of us make resolutions at the start of each year. Some of us succeed, many of us fail. And we may not be achieving our goals in part because we are not setting up our intentions correctly.

This year, instead of resolutions try to set some positive affirmations for yourself. Affirmations are different from resolving to do better because they focus on the end result or goal in a present-tense format. By doing so, affirmations "get their energy by producing feelings. It is this energy which extends outward to create change," according to certified life coach Danea Horn. By impressing their energy on your subconscious - and on the world around you - positive affirmations will attract or change the world around you to help you achieve your desired goals. Of course, they need to be said with intention and conviction, followed by positive action in the right direction.

Ms. Horn offers some simple suggestions for creating powerful affirmations for the year ahead. First, start in the present tense. Instead of "I am going to lose 15 pounds" try "I am fit and healthy." Keep your affirmations short and sweet, and keep your affirmation positive. Rather than saying "I am not in debt" focus on "I am prosperous and successful" to stay in the best tone possible. Here are some positive affirmations for 2012 that may be useful:

• I have a lot of energy.



• I am calm and relaxed in every situation.



• I have all the time I need.



• I radiate love and happiness.



• I am nourished by my food.

It's a new year and it's the best one yet!

With Age Comes Wisdom, and Tolerance

When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person

who can live at peace with others. - Peace Pilgrim

Perhaps it is age and experience that bring us wisdom indeed. As young, idealistic parents we are often on our soapboxes about what is "right" and how we should parent our children. We wear our passion on our sleeves and often become defensive in the face of opposition. We believe there is one way - our way. Whether our passion is expressed in our beliefs about childbirth, breastfeeding, our diet, or educational choices, we feel "right", others "wrong."

But some days down the road, the powers that be open us up. We discover a new path, perhaps due to health crisis or new information. Or we find ourselves in place where we are willing to make a change, and our edges start to soften. We have not lost our passion nor our ideals, but we have grown into the wisdom of tolerance.

At Holistic Moms, we struggle with the challenge each and every day. Our members are parents with many passions. Some new parents, some with adult children. What we share in is an interest in natural, holistic, and sustainable living. But what that means to each of us is not the same. Holistic living and parenting is a journey. We are each unique, with our own life experiences, knowledge, wisdom, and resources. There is not one "right" but what is "right" at this time, in this place, with this information. Understanding that and cultivating tolerance is essential for our very existence and for our mission and purpose of supporting parents and raising awareness. Attacking, criticizing, and making others feel guilty for their choices will not achieve these goals. Honoring diversity and treating each other with tolerance will.

When I was in graduate school, I spent several years living with a roommate I adored. We had much in common, and many differences. I was a vegetarian at the time, passionate about healthy foods and nutrition. She was a fan of drive-thrus. We never attacked each other about our eating habits, but chose to live in the same space with different choices. Many years later we reconnected and the tides had indeed turned - she was passionate about healthy living and she and her entire family had embraced a plant-based lifestyle. Peaceful co-existence had allowed her the space to discover another choice in a place that was safe and accepting. She found a path that worked for her and, ironically, I have since chosen another!

When we refuse to tolerate or even begin to understand the choices of others we close ourselves off from learning. The choice we have made in this time and this space may not be the choice that serves us well in the future. When we become rigid about being right, we fail to recognize when we ourselves our wrong. And when we demand that others change, we make them more steadfast in their positions rather than open to new possibilities.

It is not an easy road to travel. Critics on every side will find fault with us for not being "their" way. Holistic living is not a single issue. Indeed, the very nature of holism is a recognition that everything is connected and intertwined. One single choice does not exclude you from being a holistic parent, nor does any one choice make you one. You will never have arrived in the land of health or parenting perfection, but will always be on your way there. And what journey doesn't deserve some good company?

Antibiotic Overuse

One thing many Holistic Moms agree on is that our healthcare culture is quick to prescribe antibiotics for a wide variety of illnesses, even when their use is not warranted. Even the American Academy on Pediatrics (AAP) has backed off the use of antibiotics for such childhood ailments as ear infections, acknowledging that "concerns about the rising rates of antibacterial resistance and the growing costs of antibacterial prescriptions have focused the attention of the medical community and the general public on the need for judicious use of antibacterial agents."

Surprisingly, however, 80% of all antibiotics sold for use in the Unites States are used on animals, not on humans. In fact, most antibiotics are used in commercial farming as a result of overcrowding and unsanitary conditions. While many consumers are concerned about humane treatment in agriculture and seek out local farms for their own purchases, the overuse of antibiotics in commercial agriculture is something we all need to be aware of, even if you don't consume animal products. Why? Because "bacteria resistant to antibiotics used in animals will also be resistant to antibiotics used in humans." What does that mean? That means that as these antibiotic-resistant bacteria spread, many diseases may become difficult - if not impossible - to treat.

Agricultural antibiotics impact all of us. Consuming undercooked meat contaminated by antibiotic resistant bacteria or touching raw meat juices is just one way we come in contact with this issue. But animals carrying these superbugs also shed them in their feces or milk, their byproducts may wind up as fertilizer for other crops, or runoff from factory farms can seep into our drinking water. Even airborne antibiotic resistant bacteria have been detected.

Citizens Against Superbugs, a grassroots campaign spearheaded by Applegate Farms and STOP Foodborne Illness, is calling on the President to end the overuse of antibiotics on animals. You can sign the petition and lend a hand to this effort by clicking here. Help support these efforts and make a difference!

When a Jar of Tomato Sauce is Enough

The other day my 5 year old was beside himself. From the car ride home to pick up his older brother from school through the dinner hour, he would break into to crying/screaming jags that startled me. And all he wanted was mommy. He needed to be held and consoled. He would regroup and be fine and then an outburst or tantrum would ensue. It was back and forth, up and down. It was the witching hour - when homework needed to be overseen, dinner needed cooking, and the dogs were doing their "feed me" dances. But everything needed to take a back seat to the emotional chaos, including dinner.

When calm finally returned, it was dark and dinner was way past due. And that is when guilt started to rear its ugly head. The kids needed to eat but the time crunch and emotional drain of the day's events left me reaching for a jar of tomato sauce (albeit organic) and some pasta. On the one hand, I had nurtured and fed my child emotionally and yet that voice of perfection still rose up. How could this meal's "vegetable" be a a jar of tomato sauce? I found myself guiltily grating fresh carrots and onions into the sauce to assuage Ms. Perfect before I started the conversation about being "enough". It was enough that dinner was being made, regardless of its nutritional density. But why does this mama-guilt and demand for perfection always seem to arise? Couple that with some eco-guilt and holistic minded-moms are in for serious trouble.

Motherhood and guilt are so closely intertwined that we expect it to be a "natural part of mothering" according to Karen Kleiman, writing on "Guilt, Motherhood, and the Pursuit of Perfection" in Psychology Today magazine. We are always judging ourselves and others, fearing that we have scarred our children and failed on our parenting journey. And this persistent yardstick of perfection can lead moms down a path to anxiety and depression.

Instead, parents need to develop self-acceptance and understand that we are good enough, in this moment, with these resources, and with whatever energy and patience we can muster. Every single day is an opportunity to learn and grow as a parent and judging every imperfection - in ourselves and in others - creates a pattern of guilt and regret. As author and positive affirmation expert Louise Hay has said: "The bottom line for everyone is I’m not good enough. It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed."

We need to change our self-talk and thoughts as mothers. This is no easy task. Self-talk is so automated we often don't even recognize when it is going on. Listening and being aware of what we tell ourselves is the first step in changing the conversation. Slowing down to pay attention, journaling, and meditation are all great tools for identifying our negative self-talk and learning to replace it with more positive statements and beliefs. We need to know that we are good enough and creating positive self-talk is a step in the right direction. As mothers, we need to forgive ourselves and know that we are doing our best. And we need to know that sometimes a jar of tomato sauce IS enough.

Being the Change: Green Gifting During the Holidays

Holidays are always a great excuse to all off the wagon. Whether it's not getting enough sleep or overindulging in holiday treats, the season often sends us out of our green and healthy routines. But it doesn't have to.

One way we continue to live greener and healthier this holiday is by example - by engaging in sustainable, nutritious, non-toxic gift giving for our family and friends. We can demonstrate our passion for natural living and share that passion with others by introducing them to new opportunities, products, and services that can begin to build a healthier foundation. Sure, there are plenty of naysayers who might scoff at your natural gifts, but there are so many wonderful choices out there that you can find something everyone will be happy with, even if they are not intending to make such changes in their own lifestyle. I have had many instances where simply living by example and not preaching about my personal holistic passions has had a profound impact on others. As Aeschylus said "From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow." You can plant that seed, literally and figuratively, by giving green and healthy this season. Here are a few of our favorite ideas - and things holistic moms and dads would love to receive:

A Plant a Tree Gift Set from PeopleTowels. This delightful set includes two organic reusable towels for everyday use with a handy eco-sack and a seed kit to plant your own tree (complete with an organic, biodegradable peat pot)! What's more, the purchase of this kit helps to support Trees for the Future!

Celebrating the New Mom, Naturally! Know a new mom? How about a Nurturing Life Gift set from Motherlove or a cloth diapering kit and DVD from The Willow Store? Motherlove's certified organic products, such as their popular Nipple Cream for breastfeeding moms, are must-haves for those early years. And making a switch to cloth diapers helps save money and the planet! Today's cloth diapers are easier than ever to use and the Diapering Today DVD will make it simple and accessible to make the change. If baby is graduating to solids, you might give them a great start with gourmet, organic baby food and a great cookbook on how to cook for the whole family and develop healthy tastebuds from Sprout Organic Baby Food.

Give the Gift of Real Food! Everyone has a foodie in the family who loves to cook (and eat)! New ingredients and quality products are at the top of every chef's list and there are many healthy, sustainable items every cook would love. Perhaps a sample of wild, sustainably fished salmon with a gourmet cookbook fits the bill, or an assortment of herbal-infused ghee flavors to explore culinary delights? Or look at the amazing spices, exotic salts, and delicious flavorings from Frontier Natural Products.

Give Less Stuff. Maybe stuff isn't what you want to give this year. How about an experience, a community, or information that will inspire you time and time again? You might give someone the opportunity to learn about natural healing with classes on homeopathy, to enjoy literary articles about motherhood, a workshop to learn about green, eco-conscious building, or the support and connection for their parenting journey?

Natural, sustainable options abound! Plant the seed and see what may grow. What will you give this holiday season?

Living in Gratitude

As we celebrate Thanksgiving we have an opportunity not only to indulge in the comfort of our families and the flavors of the season, but also experience a chance to cultivate gratitude and model the significance of gratitude for our children.

Living in gratitude matters on many levels, not the least of which is helping us to maintain a positive attitude. Being grateful for all that you have, and that you may experience, or the opportunities presented to you can help you to see the good in your life even when times are challenging. Feeling blessed also radiates positive energy through your day and, according to the law of attraction, brings more things to be grateful for into your life.

Practicing gratitude isn't always easy. When you hate your job, it's hard to feel thankful. But that is exactly the moment to be grateful for the fact that a job is had at all, even if it's not matching up to your expectations or ideals. Whether it is work, relationships, finances, or health, we can be grateful for what we have and are able to do, no matter how small. Refocusing our energy on the things that are right instead of wrong may take considerable effort some days, thus it is a practice of gratitude - something that you attempt each day, over and over, and get better at each time. And, remarkably, even the most difficult challenges are opportunities to be grateful for.

Here is a wonderful gratitude prayer (thanks to zen habits) that can help you start or expand your gratitude practice. Enjoy!

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.~ Author Unknown ~

Fair Trade Holidays

The holiday season is here and it is the season of giving - and giving back. This season offers a wonderful opportunity to teach our children many important family values and also to exercise the principles that are important to us. It is a great time to think about fairness and justice, about supporting local farmers, and about empowering others. How? Through fair trade.

What is Fair Trade? According to the Fair Trade Federation, fair trade "is a holistic approach to trade and development that aims to alter the ways in which commerce is conducted, so that trade can empower the poorest of the poor." The principles of fair trade are simple: create opportunities for disadvantaged producers, do not maximize profit at the expense of the producers, pay a fair price, abolish child and forced labor, and encourage sustainable technologies, among others.

Bearing a certification for fair trade means that a product has been produced according to fair trade standards which are designed to support the sustainable development of small-scale producers and agricultural workers in the poorest countries in the world. Buying Fair Trade products is a powerful way to support producers in developing countries. Fair trade helps workers and farmers to earn a decent living and secure a better life for themselves. To find fair trade products, look for a certification on some common household items including: bananas, cocoa/chocolate, coffee, cotton, flowers, honey, sugar, and rice.

Why should we support fair trade? According to Global Exchange, fair trade brings the benefits of trade into the hands of communities that need it most. It sets new social and environmental standards for international companies and demonstrates that trade can indeed be a vehicle for sustainable development. Unfortunately, the benefits of fair trade are not reaching all fair trade farmers because of insufficient demand for their crops. Producers sell an average of 20% of their crop at fair trade terms; the rest goes through the world market at much lower prices. The same story goes for artisans. That is why we need to build a market for fair trade though demand for these products.

How can you bring fair trade into your holiday season? Consider purchasing fair trade products (chocolate, coffee, tea, etc.) for your holiday gatherings and check out Fair Trade USA's Fair Trade Holiday Gift Guide for ideas and suggestions!

And you can win a bag of fair trade samples and treats from Fair Trade USA by helping to spread the word about fair trade! Tweet this blog and come share your tweet url in the comments section for a chance to in! A winner will be randomly chosen and notified on November 30th.

Pinkwashing, Greenwashing: Creating a Culture of Distrust

As holistic-minded parents many of us are now familiar with the practice of "greenwashing" or efforts by a corporation to portray themselves publicly as eco-conscious and sustainable in order to better their bottom line. Equally deceptive is the practice of "pinkwashing". According to Breast Cancer Action, the founder of the "Think Before You Pink" campaign, a "pinkwasher" is "A company or organization that claims to care about breast cancer by promoting a pink ribbon product, but at the same time produces, manufactures and/or sells products that are linked to the disease." Among the outrageous examples of pinkwashing are corporations such as Estee Lauder and Promise Me perfume who display and distribute pink ribbons to support the Susan G. Komen Foundation and yet produce products that are toxic and hazardous, containing ingredients that themselves are contributing to rising cancer rates.

Particularly egregious are the actions of Eli Lilly, the sole manufacturer of rBGH (recombinant bovine growth hormone), an artificial growth hormone found in milk which has also been linked to breast cancer. Although rBGH is banned in many countries, here in the United States it is a profit-making enterprise. But even more alarming is that not only does Eli Lilly profit from the sales of rBGH but also from the sales of cancer drugs they produce used to treat women with breast cancer. In fact, "Eli Lilly’s cancer drugs made $2,683,000,000 for the company in 2008" according to Breast Cancer Action, inspiring their "Milking Cancer" campaign. (Fortunately, organic dairy products do not contain rBGH.)

These "washing" campaigns are intended to disillusion consumers and create a belief in corporate "caring" and "community" to build brand loyalty and, ultimately, to enrich one's bottom line. The consequence, however, is devastating for our entire business and commericial sector. What such practices have created is an alarming amount of corporate and organization distrust among consumers. My generation of parents are beyond skeptical. We have little or no faith in the claims made by corporations, organizations, and governments. We scorn advertising campaigns and corporate sponsored activities. We distrust ads and ties to companies. We shun institutions who align with brands and criticize magazines and even non-profit organizations for working hand-in-hand with businesses. And this culture of distrust leaves us so cynical that we have disengaged, become less participatory and more frustrated by the world around us.

While much of the distrust is well earned, there are many corporations and organizations out there doing good work. There are still islands of integrity and transparency. There are companies who are not "washed" but who are sincerely, ethically, green and sustainable. Yes, they need to earn money to survive. Yes, they have products to sell. But they are doing so with honesty and integrity. As parents we need to discover the resources to locate these companies, organizations, and individuals. We need to be wary but open to the fact that there are still people out there trying to make an honest living. And we need to support those companies and organizations - wholeheartedly - who are truly working in our best interests.

The Scariest Part of Halloween

Boo! Halloween is just around the corner. If ghosts and goblins don't scare you, consider what is in your kids' treat bags. There are some pretty frightening things lurking among the colorful wrappers and packaging. Here are just a few to consider.

Top 5 scariest things about Halloween candy:

1. High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) or “Corn Sugar”. Parents are wising up to the dangers of HFCS, so the Corn Refiners Association is working hard to rename HFCS “corn sugar” as it sounds a whole lot less scary that way. Don’t be fooled. HFCS is everywhere and has been linked to obesity, rising rates of type-2 diabetes, and hypertension. Not to mention that high levels of mercury have been detected in HFCS as well!

2. TBHQ. Thanks to Out of the Box Food for bringing this one to our attention at this week’s #holisticmoms Twitter Party! TBHQ, or tertiary butylhydroquinone, is a form of butane that is added as a preservative to a variety of foods, including popular Halloween candies Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Nestle Crunch.

3. Artificial Colors and Flavorings. Unless you’re a carrot or a sweet potato, chances are bright Halloween orange is not your natural color. From candy corns to marshmallow pumpkins, artificial colorings such as Blues 1 and 2, Red 3, Green 3 and Yellow no. 5 are ever-present and have been banned in many countries because of their link to cancer. (Yellow 5 is currently under review and many artificial yellows and oranges have been banned already.)

4. Hydrogenated Fats. Think you’re doing better handing out chips and crackers instead of sweets this year? You may have to think again. Hydrogenated fats in many products, including chips, crackers, and chocolate, have long been recognized as dangerous for their link to heart disease. More recent research also links these trans fats to rising cancer rates throughout the US.

5. Refined Sugar. Americans consume an average of 22 teaspoons of sugar a day, and considerably more during our spooky and scary Halloween season! What's wrong with a little sugar? It not only ruins your teeth, but strips your body of vital nutrients and can damage your immune system. And, of course, we all know what too much sugar does to our children’s moods and behaviors!

Want to see the worst Halloween candy offenders? Check out this list from the Daily Beast. Looking for ways to have a healthier, more holistic Halloween? Try some of our Green Mama Tips!

October is . . .

Here at HMN, October is Holistic Living Month – a month-long celebration of natural living choices that reflect our connectedness to each other and the planet through a holistic philosophy.

While holistic has taken on many different connotations, the underlying philosophy of holistic living and parenting revolves around simple principles such as making informed choices, taking responsibility for our health, and understanding the idea of wholeness for health and well-being. Under this broad concept of holistic or natural living, lie many paths and many choices. So we were thrilled to discover that not only is October Holistic Living Month, but it is also the month chosen for Attachment Parenting Month, Fair Trade Month, and Non-GMO Month, among others. As our approach to all things involves a cooperative, integrative approach, we encourage you to celebrate all of these aspects of natural living all month long!

Attachment Parenting International, a non-profit organization “with a mission to educate and support all parents in raising secure, joyful, and empathic children in order to strengthen families and create a more compassionate world” embraces a holistic approach to living and parenting and calls on parents to celebrate play with this year’s Attachment Parenting Month. “Families at Play” encourages healthy social-emotional child development and healthy parent-child relationships for healthier communities. Through play, we can connect with our children and form the nurturing bonds so vital to parenting success.

Fair Trade is also about consciously making connections between the products we buy and fairness in our exchanges. What is fair trade? According to Fair Trade USA: “Fair Trade goods are just that. Fair. From far-away farms to your shopping cart, products that bear our logo come from farmers and workers who are justly compensated. We help farmers in developing countries build sustainable businesses that positively influence their communities.” This month you can choose to support fair trade by making simple changes, like starting your day with a cup of fair trade coffee or giving out fair trade chocolate or reverse trick-or-treating this Halloween.

Non-GMO Month was created by the Non-GMO Project in 2010 as a platform for raising awareness on the GMO issue. Citizens and organizations across North America are waking up to the failure of GMO technology, and discovering the risks GMOs pose to our health, our families, and our planet. The genetic alteration of our food supply impacts our health, wellness, and the planet on many levels. This month you can embrace non-GMO products by discovering new non-GMO certified products or attending an event to raise awareness (such as our #holisticmoms Twitter Party tonight at 10 pm with the Non-GMO Project!).

October is filled with great opportunities to celebrate the many choices we make as parents to live healthier, more sustainable lifestyles. Join us all month long for great opportunities and information – visit http://www.holisticlivingmonth.com/ for details and actions!

Conquering Holistic Moms Myths

It has been a busy few weeks here at the Holistic Moms Network, culminating in the Natural Living Conference held on October 1st in Irvine, CA.The day was amazing. There is absolutely nothing like connecting and sharing, personally and collectively, to inspire and empower parents to choose a natural living path. And this year's event and speakers really helped to highlight some of the myths that we often encounter here at HMN. So, for the record, let's address a few of these:

• Holistic Moms are too granola/crunchy/hippie. If you visit any Holistic Moms Network Chapter across the country, you will find a diverse group of moms and dads. The stereotype of the eco-conscious/holistic moms as "granola" is far too narrow for our group. So many of us are "the mom next door". We are regular moms, professional moms, at-home moms, fashionistas, farmers, soccer moms, and everything else under the sun. We come together because we are on a path to choose natural living options for ourselves and our families. Some of us have been on this journey for many years, some of us are brand new to making green and natural changes for our family. We are here to support the journey, whatever that is and wherever you are on it.



• Holistic Moms are "perfect" green moms. What is perfect? We don't know. We've never seen it. Our moms have virtues and vices. They are green, and not so much. They eat healthy and indulge. We drink wheatgrass juice and too much coffee. We practice positive parenting but sometimes yell at our kids. There is no perfection here. We are all trying to do the best we can with what we have. Keynote Speaker Robyn O'Brien was a fabulous example of this. She was feeding her kids blue tubes of yogurt until her daughter had a dangerous allergic reaction. Then she started a whole new path of living that included natural foods. She doesn't consider herself a holistic mom, and yet she is passionate about real food and educating parents.
  



• If you do X, Y, or Z you can't be a Holistic Mom. Really? Does one single choice opt you out of an entire lifestyle? We don't think so. And we're not here to judge. Every person has their own journey. Some will embrace green and holistic changes, others will pick and choose what works for them. We're not here to judge. We don't know your personal story or the circumstances that have led up to any of your choices or experiences. Holistic Moms is about support, community, and education. Making an informed choice doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. Know your options and do what works best for your family, for your lifestyle, for the planet.

HMN Celebrity Spokesmama and Keynote Speaker Mayim Bialik (pictured with HMN Conference Director Nina DeSanto) really hit it home during her talk when she talked about not judging each when we have not walked in another mom's shoes. We do not know the circumstances that lead to any choices of another mom, so it's not our place to judge. It is our place to offer compassionate support and encouragement. We all know that parenting is hard work. We also know that being connected makes it easier. Support can make all the difference and that's what the Holistic Moms Network is all about at its core.

Don't let myths prevent you from connecting with our growing community. Especially this month, Holistic Living Month, you can join and celebrate with us all month long. Take advantage of our special membership rate in October (save $10 with promo code HLM11) and discover other parents who are sharing the natural living journey!

Mom Energy

Hey Holistic Moms! Want Energy???

Today, whether it’s food, supplements, or holistic practices, moms everywhere are clamoring for more energy to get done what they need to in a day. But is this pursuit one that will help achieve optimal health? No.

Behold, Mom Energy:A Simple Plan to Live Fully Charged (Hay House 9/2011), which seeks to explore the differences between more energy and better energy (the latter providing the path to optimal health). Like the airplane safety speech, we have to put on our own oxygen masks before putting on anyone else’s and Mom Energy is your oxygen mask.

Join Ashley Koff on the Holistic Mom’s Network Facebook wall Monday night 10/3 at 8pm EST to answer your Mom Energy questions.

Comment below about your need for energy before, during or after the chat on the Holistic Moms Network Facebook Page wall (https://www.facebook.com/HolisticMomsNetwork) on Monday night. Two winners will be announced on Tuesday to receive Mom Energy!

Congratulations to Chakra angel and Kase's Mom - you are our winners! Please email us your name and mailing address so that we can send you each a copy of Mom Energy. Email info[at]holisticmoms[dot]org.

What is Holistic Parenting?

What pops into your mind when you hear "holistic parent"? Granola? Hippie? Treehugger? Radical? Or something else?

Defining holistic parenting is no easy task. At the Holistic Moms Network, no stereotypes apply. Sure, some of us like tie-dye and Birkenstocks. But most of us look just like you. We're not so radical or different. You can find us eating fast food, shopping at the mall, and drinking coffee with friends. You can also find us growing organic gardens, recycling, and homeschooling our children. Maybe. Maybe not. There is no one definition for holistic parenting but more a philosophy and outlook on how we would like to live and raise our children. As Dr. Linda Folden Palmer explains in her recent article Growing a Holistic Parent,

"We’re all reading and discussing, learning and experimenting, and we’re all making choices, eliminating other choices, and putting some on the back-burner. Most of us have observed that mainstream, industry-promoted practices may not always be optimal for our collective health and planet preservation, while some simply crave a more instinctual and harmonious experience."

At our core, we are about "actively pursuing information and making purposeful decisions about how we engage with our bodies, our families and our world," explains HMN Chapter Leader Meredith Barth in the latest issue of The Wise Mom, the member magazine of the Holistic Moms Network. Holistic parenting is a journey for all of us. We make take different paths and make different choices, but we are headed in the same direction and we benefit from the company and support of others along the way. We teach each other, empower each other, and join our voices to make a difference.

We invite you to share in this issue of The Wise Mom and to explore holistic parenting for yourself. Join us, no matter where you are on your holistic parenting journey, and discover the beauty of connecting through community as you travel your parenting path.

Attachment Parent the Parents, Please

The following guest post is contributed by Dr. Linda Folden Palmer, author of The Baby Bond and HMN Advisory Board Member.

I occasionally come across highly judgmental sometimes even cruel comments toward one parenting choice of some “otherwise” wonderful mom.

I deeply believe that all of us mothers, trying to do our best with what needs, customs, and resources we have behind us, need to lovingly attachment parent each other too, and we can learn valuable things from every other mom on the planet. Many aspects of holistic parenting are controversial, but just as we need to put ourselves in another frame of mind when our little one does something rather evil-looking, we need to put ourselves into the frame that conventional parenting practices come from, rather than focusing so much on opposition. For example, the breast/bottle issue can become such a flammable, violent war at times but that polar attitude helps no one. We get so caught-up in promoting a cause today, that we totally forget our shared humanity.

Whatever your particular passion or cause as a holistic parent, I think it will take decades of gentle, loving tolerance and education to gradually create change in our country and the world. I believe that modeling is often the most powerful action we can engage. For example, after finding solace in an attachment parenting playgroup when my boy was little, I continued participating in the mainstream playgroup I was already involved in. I encountered many questions, looks, and comments there about my breastfeeding and non-vaxing, among other things. I would try to insert a very occasional educational response while mostly just smiling and going on with my own ways. I was pleasantly surprised to see maybe a 50% increase overall in the group breastfeeding as second babies came around. I didn't know much about the rest of their practices but I learned how effective teaching through gentle example could be. I also learned so much from all of those moms.

We know that any harsh negative attitudes toward us as children left lasting lessons that produced very different results from what was likely desired. Let’s remember this same thing as we co-parent the world’s children. Let’s attachment parent all other parents — give other parents a break, a thumbs-up, and warm acceptance for their efforts while we teach quietly through gentle example what we feel will work best for our children.

Linda Folden Palmer is a doctor of chiropractic, a consultant and speaker on pediatric nutrition and natural parenting challenges, a science writer, and a mother. She’s the author of Baby Matters, and the updated and embellished version, The Baby Bond, The New Science Behind What’s Really Important When Caring for Your Baby. She left her chiropractic practice shortly after the birth of her son, when she was confronted with his serious health challenges. For her son’s sake, she delved deeply into the scientific and medical literature to find answers – which led to further questions and some astonishing realizations and finally to her book. With 1,200 science journal references, The Baby Bond brings the solid evidence that supports natural parenting practices. Learn more at her website at www.thebabybond.com for more natural parenting information.

The Value of Community in Crises

Here in the Northeast, Hurricane Irene wrecked havoc in many local communities. Families, neighbors, and local businesses have been destroyed by floods and high winds, many still without power.

Crises like this reveal the true beauty and power of community and connection. At these times we rise up together and lend a hand. We feel each other's pain, are grateful for what we have not lost, and find the time - and the drive - to help. But then, sadly, we retreat into our inner circles and forget the power of what we can create together.

One of our biggest challenges - and frustrations - here at the Holistic Moms Network is that we are all about building community. We understand how valuable community is, not only in crisis, but every single day. We recognize the power of connection, the energy behind being supported, and the difference that we can make collectively. We believe that communities are what make our culture successful - and that apathy and a lack of participation is what destroys it. And we see far too much of the latter. Online communities don't cut it. Facebook friends can't help you bail out your basement, remove the tree from your roof, or give you a safe place to stay in a storm. Virtual forums can't give you a hug, watch your kids while you clean up a mess, or cook you a hot meal in your time of need.

Real people can. Real communities can. And some of our proudest moments come during these times. Whether in illness or injury, or a life-changing event like having a new baby, Holistic Moms communities rise up to support their members. Many of our Chapters deliver meals and supplies to local member families during these times - give real support and meet critical needs. Our members encourage each other through the rough times - the sleepless nights, the breastfeeding challenges, the teen rebellions. And we work together to make widespread changes by supporting companies who share our mission, by empowering one another to make positive choices, and by sharing our experience and wisdom about how to live healthier and greener.

But overcoming apathy is an uphill battle. Constantly encouraging people to participate, to get involved, and to be active is not always easy. We are so insular in our daily lives that we forget how wonderful it is to have that group connection - not only when a crisis hits, but even in the good times. A simple conversation, a shared experience, or a helping hand can make the difference. Be part of it, in real life, in real time, every day. Find the time, create the opportunity, and be part of a community. Feed your soul, help another, and make a difference. It's up to you. If we all stop participating, we have no one but ourselves to blame when the communities we depend upon no longer exist.